Sunday, January 20, 2008

For the lack of updates

Life has been about settling back down. Left Singapore after coming back for 3 days to a extended holiday in Thailand with Jason, who I hope is doing well in London now. Job search was a quickie - when I came back I knew there was only 2 ways for me to head - Banking or Recruiting. I went to 2 different recruitment firm, chose one, and my life back in Singapore started for real.

Looking back at the chances I have given up - to live in another city, continue to lead this traveller's lifestyle, I guess it will be impossible to say that nope there is no regrets. You always look back and feel envious of the life you could have had. But there is just too many 'what-ifs' in my life.

It was fun but because you knew it wasn't permanent - and so it is hard to feel it to take ownership of it to be part of it. I am just a soul in a big city I do not belong to. Sure I have fun, sure I think it's a great city, but the lack of commitment brings about too, a lack of belonging.

But at least I am not lost now. I have found my direction. It's not really a calling, but it is something I have confidence to do well and build my life around. I don't like to settle for mediocrity. I don't need to be the golden girl, but I cannot be like everyone else.

And of course, since he is stuck here. I sort of have to stick around. I don't mind.