Ponderings that never end

Out of the blue I thought to myself: Wouldn't it be nice if you were just simple, find a man, love him forever and die with grandchildren around you on your favorite armchair. Don't question life and your existence, don't look at the grass on the other side, don't seek philosophical truths, which, most likely you will not exactly get the answers even as you are lowered to your grave.

Wouldn't it be nice if you were not complicated? if life is all about playing in the river and five stones, racing each other to school, growing up to become a farmer, or a grocery shop owner, and just sit there chewing bettlenut and giving birth like a rabbit, watching them grow up and then pass away, not making a difference to this world. Your children will miss you, and your children's children too. And what happens when they too pass on?

I have no answer to it. For unfortunately, I have lived through the innocence and there is no return. But without experience, you would never have known what innocence is. Just like sorrow and happiness. I wouldn't know if I would have been happier, for there is only one life and there is no way to compare it to any past archives.

Why are we always searching for answers to the big unknown? Why do we leave our partners in search and in hope of that someone better? Or of a better job? In a better country?

This perhaps then, is the beauty of life. Simply the fact that, you will never fucking get all the answers even till long after you die. That you question, therefore you are. Otherwise, you are not different from the mosquito you just killed. (congrats, you are a marksman)


"The Sick Rose"
(no honey, I'm not talking about you)

O Rose thou art sick.
The invisible worm,
That flies in the night
In the howling storm:

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

I am no more normal than you who think too much. I only look normal because I own the latest season clothes and blow my hair and line my eyes before I leave my house, looking like a million bucks while you don't care.

The mango sale

by writing this
i wish i won't be fisted
for not keeping my word
about spending like bird

i haven't spent much
since the time i've touched (down)
i know about the numerous i own
that i can repeat them for months alone

but i cannot help it
without my heart skipping a beat
for there is a mango sale
i'd even go to jail (with no bail)

just let me go
or i might blow
for not knowing
what they're offering

at ten bucks a piece
isn't it a tease
but to wake up at eight
now that i would hate

i'd most likely not be the first
but i gotta quench my thrist
let me to the mango sale
or i will cry for real

tell me my jingle works
that i am given my perks
that i be allowed to go
and nobody says no

TGIT / FJBG

Dear all,

Do not bother calling me on Tuesday evenings anymore. I will be across the Causeway paying in Ringgit to watch RM 6 movie, eat cheap food with extra 10% discount, sip Starbucks at an additional 20% discount off the already very welcoming exchange rate and with parking maxing at RM 4. I have officially become a FJBG. Along with 2 other friends. The FJBGs. And we are all set to buy the Touch N Go card for the road trips ahead.

The next few movies we are watching (yes, already planned, so what) are as follows:

28/6: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The and/or
Initial D
5/7: The War of the Worlds

Interested parties please contact me for more details.

Sing along with me!

Lyrics for Part One

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say ‘I’m chocolate - I invite you’
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Two

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
Chocolate roads and trees and birds and bees
Delivering all kinds of letters daily,
Every kind of purple parcel too.
And if the dog did try and grab a mouthful,
You could bite him back he’d taste delightful!
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Three

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
You could be a soccer super star.
The referee would blow his chocolate whistle,
A shot a goal would even break the bar.
And if you scored the winner
You could have the cup for your dinner.
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Four

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
Riding in the car would be a tasty treat.
Changing gears would soon become a problem
Cadbury dairy milk is so good to eat
When you arrive at your destination,
You’ll be greeted with an exclamation!
Wouldn’t it be nice?

The twenty reasons why I am not at the Great Singapore Sale. 

The retro girls and a giant in my kitchen

It's the kiss the frogs season

For Ping



I was about to super impose your face on it, except that the only picture I have of you kissing somebody looked too unwilling. Hence, till THE picture comes along.

Anyway I really just have to say this. Even though it was unglam and all (most of the time), it's always cool to just chill, like anywhere. Yes anywhere. And watching some silly Jacky Wu variety show about Best Friends looking alike, I'm just so glad I found you.

Quote of the week: You've got to kiss an awful lot of frogs before you get a prince.

P.S. If you cannot find your prince with the sword and a brown button and red cape and silver crown also never mind lah. In the meantime, the ninja i mean the mummy i mean the ninja stays by your side...

In Desperate Housewives today, Susan's mother, Sophie, is making Susan's life hell by picking up random strangers. When Sophie surprises her with a double date, Susan tells her she can't understand how she can just move on after a breakup. "I'm devastated," she tells her mother. "Morty was just one in a long line of guys for you. Mike was the one. Why don't you get that?"

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is (he has)
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Transition: Varsity to nothing

How more exciting can my almost 23 years be? From a cute little baby, to a fearless fighter where I took my brother on WWF inspired, to peeing in my pants ( I mean pinafore) in Primary One, to joining the Social Studies Club in P4 because the boy I like was in it, to screwing up my PSLE and getting into a neighbourhood school because I played Sega 16 bit every single day (my bro screwed his O's too, so we're even), to looking like crap during the puberty period (all the wrong hair wrong specs wrong clothes in the world).

Then came the biggest dilemma in my life - Arts or Science in JC, getting involved with guys, with Band, and the beginning of the hobby which will last my whole life - Shopping.

Then to Uni, the meeting of new friends again, and again finding my one true love of a twin, God bless her, for she will have to stick around through many more years of my life. Came the fetish of coloring my hair - pink, orange, red, blonde, blonde, blonde, black, blue, brown. Learning about responsibilities and being involved in school activities for the first time. Getting the key, knowing how to drive, hating projects, loving projects.

Working and working and working. Feeling happy spending my own money, leaving on the jetplane over and over. Always excited over the next holiday. So, where next?

And now what.

Crossroads I have been, paths I have chosen. But it all were straight forward. How different would my decision be, if I took Science in JC? No biggie. And if I went to NUS Arts instead? No biggie too. Decisions big as it seem, it streamline you to the same place anyway.

Not now.

I am nothing.

I have nothing.

Somehow in time to come, a job will land at my feet and I will pick it up. Transition will be complete. But its disgusting, because while life ahead seems far more exciting because of the big unknown, I'm not exactly overly enthusiastic about it.

I'm not making any sense. But why do I need to?

My Ball

Okay I know I have been neglecting it for the longest time. The last time I played it was last October when I sneaked back to SG to surprise the world.

And then today, when I am all geared for the competition, I face the harshest truth:

It split. The crack so big, it measures the circumference of the ball. The crack so deep, it reaches the core of the ball.

But I've always loved the ball. It's my pride, even though I have never been the world's best player.

I'm not making sense, because I am so devastated. I don't even know why it happened.