Monday, December 26, 2005


I don't know if I have told anyone that since young, I've always been fasinated by honey baked ham at X'mas time.

Not your 100g $2.70 type, but the one whole HUGE gawd knows how many kg type.

But I've never ever gotten the chance to have it, mainly because my family's never big on Christmas.

But look at what I've got for Christmas this year:

Dream come true!

Went to CHC's Xmas celebration with my family. I actually went up stage to take picture of with their drama's props.

Willy Wonker will be shamed at the size of the lollis. But they are fake lah.

My bro's new iMac is really cool! It actually matches the room's furniture can? And the speakers are white too (though who wun buy white speakers if you have an iMac right?)

But the coolest part of them all is this webcam thingy which is inbuilt in the monitor (which is an all in one CPU) and you can take all kinds of funny pictures like the funny mirrors you always stand in front of at carnivals and have so much fun when you were a kid?

But to preserve my own modesty I shan't put it up on the WWW but you can request for it. Permission will be given on a case by case basis. Trust me though, it's worth the plead. It's damn funny.

Here's a narcissistic picture of myself. But check out the cool effects - Comic!

And here's another funny effect shit

My brother looks like a criminal right?

Well, Merry Xmas! I had quite a happy one without the crowds. But food, glorious food. 2 great meals and I didn't even need to cook or wash up after the meal! hehehe. Isn't that what Xmas is all about?

For me lah, at least.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


For you (closet) fans of ultra duper sexy Jack Sparrow the pirate (who can do without the bad teeth though), he will be back next year.

I'm SOOOOOOOOO excited!

I watched the show 2 times can, but it was because I had to watch with different peeps.

So here's a sneaky for you.

He is how cute how cute cannnnnnnnnn (stupid Orlando go away!)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Pretty funny. I should add one tip though,

Don't stop your girl from buying shoes (no matter how many pairs she own)

Additional incentive promised

by paying for it (or THEM) too


Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I am poor.

I've never felt poor before. Broke yes, but not poor.

Ironic right, feeling poor when I bring home $2000 a month.

But now I look at my bank account and just sigh.

I think of the money which people owe me, yet I too embarrassed to ask back.

Afterall, some of them are people closest to my heart and true enough, they need the money more than me.

And I feel guilty, guilty for feeling burdened. Guilty for asking. Knowing that they are even more embarrassed having to ask for help from me.

Why should I be whining over the bit of money?

How could I?

But I did. And now I feel so bad. But if I say, eh no need liao, then it's also very bad.

Surely I could still afford little trips, and buy the things I want. It's not as though I am begging on the streets, or living in misery.

But I look at my bank account and sigh. I've never felt this poor in my life. So poor that as much as I hate what I'm doing, I can't get out of it.

But I guess I'm feeling more miserable for being so calculative and feeling more guilt than the misery of being poor.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


My new cammie bag

My new cammie-la

And my new Shiseido lip gloss, ZA emulsion and eye transpowder, Whitia toner, ZARA skirt, some *blush* This Fashion stuff.

All within 2 weeks. Happy birthday Hui.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Oh No! Don't leave me, Air Asia

It has been my favorite carrier. My first, my cheapest. Brought me to places (actually only BKK, oh and BKK to Chiang Mai too) at ridiculous prices like $1. More than once.

Stupid Singapore!

Budget carrier AirAsia no longer interested in Singapore route: chairman

After a long campaign to secure landing rights in Singapore, Malaysian budget carrier AirAsia has said it is no longer interested in the lucrative short-haul route. "I am not interested in that route. We are going to other places," AirAsia's chief executive Tony Fernandes told AFP over the weekend. AirAsia currently serves Singapore from the southern Johor state on the Malaysian side of the Causeway linking the two states. In October, the airline accused Singapore of discrimination after it awarded the long sought-after landing rights to a rival Indonesian carrier. Fernandes previously said that Singapore was "a country that is supposed to welcome open competition, but they are scared of us" because the city-state's own budget carriers are struggling. While AirAsia reported a net profit of 111.63 million ringgit (US$29.6 million) for the year to June, budget airline Tiger Airways, a unit of state-owned Singapore Airlines, and JetStar Asia, in which the government has a stake, are unprofitable, the Financial Times newspaper said last month. Fernandes said AirAsia would continue to push to open new routes to other Southeast Asian countries like Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Laos, Indonesia and Brunei, as well as routes to southern China. "We will open up new destinations. People can go to Bali and Bangkok to shop. It is going to be a loss for Singapore," he said. AirAsia was launched in December 2001 with just two aircraft and has since become a significant regional player, with its business model increasingly imitated by national carriers and a host of new low-cost entrants. The airline covers most major cities in Southeast Asia, linking Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore, Macau, Vietnam, Cambodia, Xiamen in China and the Philippines. - AFP /ch

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Trivial 1

Counting down! 7 days to Bangkok! By the time it's trivial 7, I would have been BACK!

Did you know?

Locals don't actually call Bangkok Bangkok. They normally call it Krung Thep, but even that is a short form.

The full name goes something like

Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Pole dancing yummy men

Being somewhat a goggle box of the late, I happened to watch this show on Channel 8/U called Crossfire, and they were discussing whether Singapore should allow companies to use such marketing gimmicks. In their example, the company in doubt called it "Ladies' Night" or "shu nu zhi ye" and at the Heartland of Tampines at C Square, engaged some hot sweaty MALE bods shaking their bon bons really really hard wearing skimpy shorts or tight leather pants with their G strings showing a bit, just the way we girls fear when wearing our ultra low waist jeans. All as part of their marketing gimmick, which is of no relevance to the product itself. So is it right to do it or not?

To me? What's the big deal. The only qualms I really had was that why of all places in such a public place like Century Square. That's all. I mean, I really suppose they just want crowds, and the way to get crowds is to have something new, something different, from the rest. Like there was a time where companies made girls sell bubble tea in bikinis. And it created the hoo-ha they wanted and people went there to look at the babes and well, bought their bubble tea. Objective met.

There will always be an association of skimpy women with beers and cars. What relevance were there? There never were. It's just to boost sales. And it's not illegal, or too controvesial. Paris Hilton was engaged by Carl's Jr too. For Burger! Or Tiger's latest ad?

Is it then, because of the fact that it is now male bods we are talking about, making men the object of desire?

There was this professor from China who said things like the only reason why we are different from animals is that we know how to control our emotions and desires and we have managed to supress this for thousands of years. Why now let it all come to a waste.

And I was really like ????????
So a night of watching some bon bons will unleash the animal in you and you will just lay every guy you lay your hands on? And it will really waste away the thousands of years of surpression? WOW.

And then she said why must we follow the Western society all the time, just because they do it we must do it meh?

You know, I really really hate it when people always always blame the Far West for everything. For the openess about sex lah, for the bad influence lah, for the increase in crime rates lah, increase in rapes lah, whatever. Not like I am a firm supporter of the Ang Mohs or anything, but please be reasonable, it's not all their fault.

I really believe it is a result of globalisation AND urbanisation. Cramping thousands and thousands of people in the city with nothing better to do, it is inevitable shit happens. And the refusal to believe that times have changed (since long ago but people just didn't want to say it out openly)

I digress. Conclusion? Do it man, whatever you like, just not at such a public place next time please, where kids are around.

My blog is worth $8,468.10.
How much is your blog worth?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Astonishing groundbreaking news that i should be (an am very) ashamed of

I have missed the birthday parties of 2 very important people in my life this year, both Leo.

I have missed dates with my jammy james more than one this year. And pissed james off bad bad bad.

Oh james, i promised and i always break my promise.

Leo and Scorpio must be cursed. This forever intertwined relationship.

*dramatically burst into fits of tears*

Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween

Sian man, holiday on alternate days. This is so shitty.

I'm so bored I'm growing spiders on my shoulders. I'm serious.

Skiving off soon 'nuff.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colours changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists' loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Picture perfect

Is it just me? That I feel this pang of awkwardness when I look at pictures of people whom I've known when they are together with somebody else, and now they are looking happy with another guy/girl in their arms?

And I'm not even talking about my own past. Just some people that you know, that you have not met in a while. Then you see their Friendster (annoymously of course!). That kinda thing.

Monday, October 17, 2005

With all the time I have to kill online, and the lack of motivation to read anything that is actually useful, I have been quite a blogder.

I read XX's blog so often that I'm tempted to add her in my link.

But anyways

I really do wonder why some people like to spill their lives out in the cyberspace. Spilling your thoughts is okay, but detailing down to where you have been today, who you go with, followed by about twenty pictures of yourself and your unwilling friends is a little overbearing.

Like I would like to know you better, but if your ABOUT ME is like 4,000 word long, I don't need to try to know you anymore. Because I think I already do. And maybe I don't wanna know too much, like how upset you were when your pet dog died (when you were 5 years old), or the name of that dog.

Such information should be saved only for the super stars you worship but will never get to meet. And superstars will pay for such info to NOT be published.

I will feel so weird when we meet up because I wouldn't ask you how was your weekend because I will totally know that you went to Zouk with Tom and Harry and you wore your pink tube you bought from Topshop at the recent sale at a bargain of 40%. But I still have to because that's how it normally goes. Or should I act like I don't know? Or say, oh I read from your blog that you went to Zouk. And I wouldn't ask how was it because the full coverage from 11pm to 4am will also be stated, how you fell off the stairs at the Phuture toilet blah blah. And the very next day when I click on your blog again, find out how our little meetup is no longer private and everyone will know that we went to Starbucks at Liat and we talked about the moon. And of course, much to my disgust but in full anticipation, the picture that shows my doublechin will be posted up because your hair looked so good.

Of course, I should not condemn these people. I don't, and they really provide such great entertainment for me when time crawls. But if I ever start to show such traits, please slap me awake.

Though I'm sure you won't. Because I will provide such great entertainment to you.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Maybe its the aircon, or the feng shui, or the fringe, or the make up, or the improper make up remover, or the facial wash, or the moisturizer, or the facials. Whatever it is, my skin is apparently getting from bad to worse. The beautician warn that it will turn into first degree acne (ACNE! How awfully awful!) if I don't take care of it.


Maybe it just comes with age. And I no longer can use off the shelf stuff anymore. Maybe I shall upgrade myself to Clinique soon enough. Or maybe I need to go organics and use Origins. I don't know!

And the job. Shiok as it is with all the f-r-e-e-d-o-m, but the money will not be able to sustain my already not very extravagent lifestyle. Should I say, not even near extravagent? I don't really club. I don't pay for drinks. I never sign facial packages. I don't even have a gym membership. I don't have branded bags (per se) and I don't have four wheels. I don't even own a Tiffany or a liquid paper pen. Even if I save $500 a month, it will only work out to be $6,000. So how many freaking years must it take for me save enough to study?

And there isn't even job satisfaction.

Maybe I should try to write like Xiaxue and pray that one day my blog will be just as famous so long I post photoshopped pictures of myself, perm my hair and put 3mm thick makeup.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


According to FEMALE, women who are sex starved tend to splurge on shoes.

I have 27 pairs.

Monday, October 03, 2005

So I was making myself a cup of teh C. Perfecting my cup of teh C (or rather, making it taste remotely like any coffee shop's) has been one of my greatest aim ever. So I decided on D*lmah's superior Ceylon tea bag and left it there in my cute little cup. Then I forget all about it and it went cold. I tasted it sans sugar and it seemed okay. Not too bitter like the way Un*lever auntie told me it will be when you leave your tea bag too long in the cup.

But how the hell am I going to add in the sugar?

So I added a bit of hot water and stirred the sugar in another cup, then pour the syrup into the tea.

But it still doesn't taste like the kopitam one leh.

End of story.

Monday, September 26, 2005


I know that everyone knows how it feels like when you are still kinda hanging on. The breathe you hold on to when you click onto his blog to see what he has to say.

Right now, I am feeling pretty good about this particular man of my past and his blog I stumbled upon. Reading his entries, seeing how he has moved on in life in the last few years, how he now shares his dream with someone else, has someone else to cook the food I once did, I smiled, and this really good sensation just came (never as good as an org of course).

Because I know that I have totally absolutely let go him already. I even feel so happy for him. It's almost like hearing from an old friend after so many years, but even better. Because I don't need to face him. And I want it to remain like this: absolutely nothing from him, as it has been for the past few years. No suppers no phonecalls. There are some people who you just want to cut off all ties with, and just let that memory remain.

We used to...

And that's that.

And Ping, I happen to just know that there is someone you want to do the same about. Don't you just love me for knowing. And for the everyone else who wishes he/she could, perhaps it just takes time. But maybe though, there may never come a time, where enough is enough.

Monday, September 19, 2005

"You are the music while the music lasts"

-T. S. Eliot

Friday, September 16, 2005

Quite right about buying and buying though

What Your Underwear Says About You

You tend to buy new underwear instead of doing laundry.

You're sexy, in that pinup girl, tease sort of way.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Did I move from being like this to like that or have I been fooled by myself that I am actually always like that but pretended to be like this, but always thought that being like this is well, me?

I wish I feel more. If I feel rage, at least I can scream into my pillow and hit my fist. Or poke holes into photos. If I feel pain, at least I can cry and hurt. If I feel happy enough, at least I would bother to do something more interesting than painting my picture frames black (though honestly, they look so good with the postcards).

Well at least something. At least motivation to move from this state of zero emo to something. I'm sorry for all the promises to go to this place and that. And then not turning up, not picking up or just sleeping. But it's not my fault. I'm locked in my house. I cannot think. Don't ask me.

I wish I'm busy. It will help alot.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

I'm not exactly in the social butterfly mood of the late. The feeling I'm having is so similar to the beginning of this year, when I just came back from Thailand, when I did not want to reconnect my handphone, nor did I want to get out to "reunite" with the people I have not seen for half a year. I dreaded the meetups and catching ups. I just wanted to be at home in my bed on the third storey where I will peep out of my window if I kneel on my bed and lift up the curtains a little to see the world go by. Not like there is anymore activities than the morning qigong lessons by the greens. Oh but there was somebody to wave to.

It was a big room, but it didn't belong to me. Alone.

Now I no longer peep out of the window. I lie in bed and stare at my room. It is so pretty. I have my beautiful lamp, my bedside table, my barang barang chair and everything else that just blends in totally. I visualise my new easel and chair by the bed. I might even paint the easel black to match everything else in the room. Maybe a new beret will complete the look.

It is a small room, but it belongs to me. Alone. Here, where I do my solitary dance, sing my solitary song and drop my solitary tears. Here where I live in effy's world, confined by 2 walls of plum and 2 walls of white, where I can ignore the knocks on my door and convince myself that I can live my life just the way I want it to be. I can have as many imaginary friends as I like - Billy Mary Tommy. I can have wings and I can fly.

And I have no intent on moving anywhere else from this state. Maybe that is why I am beginning to love Mr Johnny Walker. He keeps me in this half dreamy state I like.

Monday, September 05, 2005


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma per cio` che giammai di questo fondo
Non torno` vivo alcun, s`i`odo is vero.
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you an overwhelming question. . . .
Oh, do not ask, `What is it?'
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street
Rubbing its back upon the window panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, `Do I dare?' and, `Do I dare?'
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: `How his hair is growing thin!']
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: `But how his arms and legs are thin!']
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all--
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons:
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all--
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
Is it the perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl,
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

. . . . .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?. . .

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

. . . . .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep. . .tired. . .or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I after tea and cakes and ices,
have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
To say: `I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all'--
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: `That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.'

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--
And this, and so much more?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning towards the window, should say:
`That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.'

. . . . .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old. . .I grow old. . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Morrie revisited

There's quite a few points which I find very apt in the recent times that I found in Tuesdays with Morrie.

"Mitch, I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that's all."

Sometimes, the problem is living in your own little world. Everything revolves around me me me. Me life, me time, me sob sob, me poor thing. Surely life sux, but there are people out there who are worse off. People who sees that their life sux and learn and grow from it recovers. And people who merely live their worse off lives continue to have worse off lives.

And it never matters if you have set yourself to do the very best in everything you do, get the As, love the family, love the dog, love the man. Sometimes, things just don't work out. And when that happens, you ask yourself, what then?

So you go to your friends and ask them, what then? You ask:

"Shouldn't the world stop? Don't they know what has happened to me?"

Unfortunately, the world don't. The world changes. People changes. People never remain the same for you.

It's not easy to get out of the little world and realise that you're not alone in this. In your little world, you are the only person who suffers so bad so bad. But the harsh truth is in many cases,

Who cares?

But I do. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with this post.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I'm sick and tired of blowing my hair to no avail to make it look straight enough for THAT look. And it must be killing them softly.

So, hold your breathe for this man..

I'm going to rebond the hair. Don't know where, don't know when.

Let's just hope I wun live a life of regret if my hair turns out so flat and so stuck onto my head that my ears sticks out.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Saturday Wednesday Night Fever

It's been donkey elephant giraffe years since we did the boogie boogie. After listening to all the retro mp3s in the office, I decided:

Let's go MAMBO!

Who wants to join (or watch and laugh at) me on the platform doing all the stupid moves in my polka dots skirt and thick hair band?

P.S. It's ladies night lah! Free leh!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

It suddenly dawn on me that despite the woes of the Third World, of famine and over population and pollution, the world is indeed a very beautiful place, because we exist simultaneously in different time zones, right now, and such happens not just across different countries, but across different provinces.

Take India, or Thailand. Look at their pseuydo-Silicon Valley high techology vs. the villages. Or just cities and villages. It's so beautiful. No time travel machine is required. An hour bus ride from Bangkok to Ayuthaya and you have travelled 20 years into the past, where children did not bother about PS2, women are not anorexic, and you farm to earn a living.

And honestly, who can decide, who leads a better life? Do we feel sorry for the people we claim backdated? Because of their lack of technological advancements which, while makes our lives better, sometimes argubly necessary evil (as per General Paper in A levels).

Monday, August 01, 2005

Singaporeans and their ang moh standard.

Hello There,hmm i try to transfer the total amount of 33.50 but was rejected. as perwhat i know then transfer could one be make in tenth. So if i transfer 30.00i still short of 3.50 and if i transfer 40.00 i paying an extra of 6.50Therefore how should i make the payment to you.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

What a week

You know, I really admire party animals. Not for how much they can party, that's easy. But how they can party so much and go to work and perform at work with like 2 hours of sleep.

Of course, i bankers will tell me, c'mon man, I sleep 2 hours too.

Imagine, having 4 hours of sleep after all the food and drinks and K-ing, followed by a breakfast presentation and kick boxing session at Shangri-La the next morning. And I had to attend Jamie's party at night. It's really not funny. I cannot man. I fell dead on the bed the moment I reached home.

What that was started as a pre party short nap turned into a 5 hour long sleep, deaf to all phone calls ringing and ringing. And hence I missed the party.

Which is actually fine by me considering the number of drinks I took yesterday. Even the Boss had the shivers when he saw the black label.

But it was a great week, great fun. And I like what I'm doing, well, so far.


1. What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?
2. Go to and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word, I'll try to guess).
4. Put this in your own blog so that I can do the same.

Btw, you can link it by using this html tag (img src="the whole website link") Use <> instead of the ( and ).

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Okay I'm going to start another attempt at Dieting again. Apparently when the man's not around I can shed a few pounds. No late night plaster, mee gorengs and teh c peng, plus because he is so lazy and always lurking at my place, I hardly am ever driven to get my arse out of the house to the tracks. So taking this chance, here I am at it again.

This time, I'm even trying to psych my poor colleague to join me.

It is call:

Operation Lose 5 kg in 2 months.

At least it's realistic la hor. Plus our corporate invitation from Cali Fitness, we get to go to the gym 10 times this month!

Anyway I guess (maybe wistfully) there should be people who are interested in how I am getting along at work. Well things are looking up even though I have spent half a month doing technically nothing but learning a little more about my job and playing a lot of games. I started to wonder why am I doing nothing. Is it because of ISO standard to train us for 1 month, or because we don't have our name cards yet?

But I'm enjoying it so far (dah!) except that it is 1. making me stupidier by day, 2. sometimes so sian I just irritate whoever who is online on my msn. But I'm not exactly complaining - I'm paid! Besides, this is only the beginning, once I start going out to create waves, I might be missing this period of my life.

The people are nice too. But can anyone expect anything less when there are 4 SMU students around? Kakakaka. And I have be crowned Miss Goody Two Many many shoes.

To a skinnier tommorrow! (Not after the Department buffet dinner on Thursday of course!)

Friday, July 22, 2005

I thought my Commencement will end with a blast. Like if there isn't anything physically whambamslam, perhaps in my heart at least. Okay when he announced that my degree is conferred, there was a tiny electric current that ran through. Like yes, this is it. But it was really like a lidat loh. Even my throwing the mortar board dream is kinda blah. (We must still do the Sentosa thing ok!)

I cannot understand why people are so skeptical when I say that my ultimate goal is to become an academic. And when I say it is because I want to teach in the university, 8 out of 10 will say

Go NIE lah, teach Primary school kids, they very cute what

Yes they are. And no offence, but it is SO different. Why is there always the association? Why can't anyone just said oh really, that's nice. So by when would you hope to achieve the aim? Or just, well, good luck!

Goals are what that keeps people alive. I feel glad that at least I have a goal of some sort, with a lot of difficulty, but at least some intelligence. Imagine people saying, I wish I will stay healthy and happy forever. Or even worse, I wish I will not grow fat.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A very depressing entry

The MacDonald's ad was right. Pay comes quick, goes quick too.

A quick calculation tells me why

Fixed expenses
$500 - to be saved a month (which is what this magazine told me, pay * age)
$400 - transport (i'm on the go)
$65 - Phone bill
$100 - tuition loan (you know how long it's gonna take me to pay the whole freaking amount up!)

Total: $1065

Variable expenses
$132 - lunch on weekdays (and that is only counting $6 per meal, highly impossible)
$150 - dinner on weekdays ($10 * 15 days - cos some days I'd go straight home, but unlikely too)
$300 - Weekends (a very modest $75 for Saturday + Sunday!)

Total: $582

On top of that, I have to work out an amount to give my parents ($200? $300?) and pay for my gym membership which I have no idea how much it is yet. And my shopping? Where is my shopping expenses!! I can't buy nothing if I have $75 to eat and party and shop?!?!? for the weekend!

So tell me, what's the point of working? So when will I be able to afford all the Ferragamo shoes and Gucci bags? (Not that I want them that badly also lah) Sigh.

And I haven't even go into the rat race and chase the cars and the apartments. How to?

Saturday, July 16, 2005

That man and his past

Update: Okay Charles, I've done my part to humour you. I cannot bear to remove it though.

If I start ranting about it, it will only reduce myself to that level.

True enough, when a breakup occurs, and a new relationship happens, you will be rather wary of that X character in his/ her life. Afterall, they may have spent a few years, happy or not, together.

But what are you allowed to do? Well, perhaps prevent him from meeting her, or even forcing him to completely lose contact with her. And on top of that, nag non stop at home and make faces or be angry for no reason when that sacred name is used.

But using your "higher management" power (as a temp staff) to not let her get any assignments is waay stupid. Childish too. Honestly I might do that too, if and only if she pestered my baby, or cling on to the past, or well, simply got on my nerves. But what if you have never even met her or talk to her? But you just know that he used to be with her. And you don't get to keep him because you cmi, and it's not even her fault.

Immaturity is not a crime. It's a folly that everyone's guilty of once twice or many times in their lives. Imagine hearing someone say things like I'd make sure she don't get any assignments, hmpf! And when asked why, says erm... cos I don't like her face!

Familar hur hur.

Too bad girly, I don't depend my livelihood on your zoo outing. I never needed the assignments even before that. Now even more. I have my own full time job now, and I even feel happy for the man, who has long dumped you, and it is not for your pink furry handbag. And I even feel sorry for you, and your sad sad life.

(Because I read so much XX's blog, I can even visualise what she'd do, put a picture of that girl and bloat her up with her powerful photoshop skills. Heh heh)

Friday, July 08, 2005

Some real update for you who bother

Alrighty. No more silly care bears. I realised this is kinda a major milestone in my life, so I should just yah write it down.

I'm stepping into the workforce for the first time in my life. We're talking about a real job now. It's a slap in the face good bye to holidays and sleep ins. No more skipping of school, because school is no more. Hopefully (but unlikely) no more being late all the time. But hello to more money, more responsibilities and becoming a real woman, in more ways than one.

I am of course physically well equipped with the working world judging by the number of pants, skirts, blouse, cardigans, tops, pumps, heels, slip ons, bags, totes I own. I can most likely not repeat clothes for a month. And I will make sure I make such a name at the office for the girl with so many XXX. (But the world most obiang handphone).

But the real me? I'm so skeptical. Questions like is this what I want to do pops up in my head. But I guess thinking so hard about something that you get no answer to gives bad headaches. So I will just fuck care and turn up, do my best and see where life brings me.

Dates welcomed. I'm situated next to the Concourse at the Plaza Parkroyal hotel, Beach Road. Call the hotline 906xxxx9.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Graduating chicks

Yeah! I'm going to collect my gown in 15 minutes. Who wants to take pictures with me? I will be willing to pose in a very retro look straight cannot smile very big outside my void deck with you.

In celebration of our graduation, let's play! A rich man style BBQ. NO chix wing, lousy franks, cuttlefish ball. I'm thinking tiger prawns, sting ray, pork chop, chicken fillet, gourmet sausage, black pepper dory, sotong, baked shitake mushroom, mashmallows and everything else. And Ping, you and I will wear the mortar board throughout the whole time, plus our shorts and tees so that at Commencement, everyone can smell us from afar.

Friday, July 01, 2005


I just have to do this man. The movie is definitely not for the "vast audience" which our favorite blogger said Douglas degrade himself to.

P.S. It may be a potential spoiler for those who hadn't watch it.

And even though I know she will be too busy with her pedicures to ever read my blog, which I am damn glad she never will, I had enough of her when she disgrace even the likes of her. Imagine rating a movie

Stars: Minus 25,738,200 out of 5

How more bimbotic is that?

Adaptation my dear, is never putting the whole book into the big screen. The very difference in the whole nature of the 2 different media (one is words you know? and the other can move one leh) means you have to make changes. And spelling everything out may not be appealing. Wits in words may not work on the big screen. But why am I wasting my time explaining when I bet all my friends can understand the movie.

(In pink for more reasons than one)

"Let stupid people not be able to understand lah! Why must they focus on dolphins jumping when DOUGLAS SAID THAT DOLPHINS ARE SMARTER THAN HUMANS? We are again using their cuteness to make the kids and stupid shu nus happy! Fuck them lah!!!"

They were floating up to space to escape from Earth lah. Stupid.

even though Douglas' profound sense of humour is tough to translate into film and still sustain the interest of the viewer, it is still possible to inject into the film his other amazing ideas - which were obviously not done.

You obviously couldn't catch them all. You obviously COULDN'T. If you think the thinking cap was lame, what more can I say? I bet you missed out the 2 heads are better than one, lend me a hand, and well, everything else.

Oh no. They, predictably, showed that Arthur Dent was travelling slowly through prehistoric Earth (which he didn't in the book). Beautiful Earth. And WOOLA! WE SEE ARTHUR DENT'S HOUSE! Very smart, smartie pants! How come there is a nice white house in prehistoric Earth?

You didn't even notice they fast forward the whole life cycle? Flowers bloomed and cells multipled? What were you staring at then? Your curly locks? They were supposed to bring everything fast forward back to where it was before it exploded? But I guess you wouldn't, I mean couldn't catch that, like all other humours.

At the end, when they wrote: "For Douglas", I was thinking to myself that if Mr Adams have seen this movie, he would have jumped out of his grave and shot everyone within sight with a Kill-o-Zap gun.

p/s: I know Douglas Adams wrote part of the screenplay, but I refuse to believe he wrote all that bullshit.

Haha, just kill yourself.

For anyone else remotely interested in this girl who has very good photoshop skills and erm, bad command of English and no sense of humour and I-so-pwettty, put ugly pictures of her friends up to enhance herself, make your way down to

to increase her daily visits. So many already, adding a few more wun increase her ego that much.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Ponderings that never end

Out of the blue I thought to myself: Wouldn't it be nice if you were just simple, find a man, love him forever and die with grandchildren around you on your favorite armchair. Don't question life and your existence, don't look at the grass on the other side, don't seek philosophical truths, which, most likely you will not exactly get the answers even as you are lowered to your grave.

Wouldn't it be nice if you were not complicated? if life is all about playing in the river and five stones, racing each other to school, growing up to become a farmer, or a grocery shop owner, and just sit there chewing bettlenut and giving birth like a rabbit, watching them grow up and then pass away, not making a difference to this world. Your children will miss you, and your children's children too. And what happens when they too pass on?

I have no answer to it. For unfortunately, I have lived through the innocence and there is no return. But without experience, you would never have known what innocence is. Just like sorrow and happiness. I wouldn't know if I would have been happier, for there is only one life and there is no way to compare it to any past archives.

Why are we always searching for answers to the big unknown? Why do we leave our partners in search and in hope of that someone better? Or of a better job? In a better country?

This perhaps then, is the beauty of life. Simply the fact that, you will never fucking get all the answers even till long after you die. That you question, therefore you are. Otherwise, you are not different from the mosquito you just killed. (congrats, you are a marksman)

"The Sick Rose"
(no honey, I'm not talking about you)

O Rose thou art sick.
The invisible worm,
That flies in the night
In the howling storm:

Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

I am no more normal than you who think too much. I only look normal because I own the latest season clothes and blow my hair and line my eyes before I leave my house, looking like a million bucks while you don't care.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The mango sale

by writing this
i wish i won't be fisted
for not keeping my word
about spending like bird

i haven't spent much
since the time i've touched (down)
i know about the numerous i own
that i can repeat them for months alone

but i cannot help it
without my heart skipping a beat
for there is a mango sale
i'd even go to jail (with no bail)

just let me go
or i might blow
for not knowing
what they're offering

at ten bucks a piece
isn't it a tease
but to wake up at eight
now that i would hate

i'd most likely not be the first
but i gotta quench my thrist
let me to the mango sale
or i will cry for real

tell me my jingle works
that i am given my perks
that i be allowed to go
and nobody says no

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Dear all,

Do not bother calling me on Tuesday evenings anymore. I will be across the Causeway paying in Ringgit to watch RM 6 movie, eat cheap food with extra 10% discount, sip Starbucks at an additional 20% discount off the already very welcoming exchange rate and with parking maxing at RM 4. I have officially become a FJBG. Along with 2 other friends. The FJBGs. And we are all set to buy the Touch N Go card for the road trips ahead.

The next few movies we are watching (yes, already planned, so what) are as follows:

28/6: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The and/or
Initial D
5/7: The War of the Worlds

Interested parties please contact me for more details.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Sing along with me!

Lyrics for Part One

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say ‘I’m chocolate - I invite you’
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Two

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
Chocolate roads and trees and birds and bees
Delivering all kinds of letters daily,
Every kind of purple parcel too.
And if the dog did try and grab a mouthful,
You could bite him back he’d taste delightful!
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Three

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
You could be a soccer super star.
The referee would blow his chocolate whistle,
A shot a goal would even break the bar.
And if you scored the winner
You could have the cup for your dinner.
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Lyrics for Part Four

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world were Cadbury?
Riding in the car would be a tasty treat.
Changing gears would soon become a problem
Cadbury dairy milk is so good to eat
When you arrive at your destination,
You’ll be greeted with an exclamation!
Wouldn’t it be nice?

Monday, June 13, 2005

The twenty reasons why I am not at the Great Singapore Sale. Posted by Hello

The retro girls and a giant in my kitchen Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 11, 2005

It's the kiss the frogs season

For Ping

I was about to super impose your face on it, except that the only picture I have of you kissing somebody looked too unwilling. Hence, till THE picture comes along.

Anyway I really just have to say this. Even though it was unglam and all (most of the time), it's always cool to just chill, like anywhere. Yes anywhere. And watching some silly Jacky Wu variety show about Best Friends looking alike, I'm just so glad I found you.

Quote of the week: You've got to kiss an awful lot of frogs before you get a prince.

P.S. If you cannot find your prince with the sword and a brown button and red cape and silver crown also never mind lah. In the meantime, the ninja i mean the mummy i mean the ninja stays by your side...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

In Desperate Housewives today, Susan's mother, Sophie, is making Susan's life hell by picking up random strangers. When Sophie surprises her with a double date, Susan tells her she can't understand how she can just move on after a breakup. "I'm devastated," she tells her mother. "Morty was just one in a long line of guys for you. Mike was the one. Why don't you get that?"

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is (he has)
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Monday, June 06, 2005

Transition: Varsity to nothing

How more exciting can my almost 23 years be? From a cute little baby, to a fearless fighter where I took my brother on WWF inspired, to peeing in my pants ( I mean pinafore) in Primary One, to joining the Social Studies Club in P4 because the boy I like was in it, to screwing up my PSLE and getting into a neighbourhood school because I played Sega 16 bit every single day (my bro screwed his O's too, so we're even), to looking like crap during the puberty period (all the wrong hair wrong specs wrong clothes in the world).

Then came the biggest dilemma in my life - Arts or Science in JC, getting involved with guys, with Band, and the beginning of the hobby which will last my whole life - Shopping.

Then to Uni, the meeting of new friends again, and again finding my one true love of a twin, God bless her, for she will have to stick around through many more years of my life. Came the fetish of coloring my hair - pink, orange, red, blonde, blonde, blonde, black, blue, brown. Learning about responsibilities and being involved in school activities for the first time. Getting the key, knowing how to drive, hating projects, loving projects.

Working and working and working. Feeling happy spending my own money, leaving on the jetplane over and over. Always excited over the next holiday. So, where next?

And now what.

Crossroads I have been, paths I have chosen. But it all were straight forward. How different would my decision be, if I took Science in JC? No biggie. And if I went to NUS Arts instead? No biggie too. Decisions big as it seem, it streamline you to the same place anyway.

Not now.

I am nothing.

I have nothing.

Somehow in time to come, a job will land at my feet and I will pick it up. Transition will be complete. But its disgusting, because while life ahead seems far more exciting because of the big unknown, I'm not exactly overly enthusiastic about it.

I'm not making any sense. But why do I need to?

Saturday, June 04, 2005

My Ball

Okay I know I have been neglecting it for the longest time. The last time I played it was last October when I sneaked back to SG to surprise the world.

And then today, when I am all geared for the competition, I face the harshest truth:

It split. The crack so big, it measures the circumference of the ball. The crack so deep, it reaches the core of the ball.

But I've always loved the ball. It's my pride, even though I have never been the world's best player.

I'm not making sense, because I am so devastated. I don't even know why it happened.

Thursday, May 26, 2005


When His Majesty the Great PM Lee visited Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, he said we have to understand that there will be differences in views between the nations for certain issues, eg rewriting the history of the WWII in their textbooks and the shrine.

I'm sure on an individual level, one would have faced such a problem. But it's about putting your view across, to let the other party know why you think that way.

But why is it that it take so much effort to do this for some people, and others, you just look at them and they know.

It breaks my heart to see someone so close to me in this shit hole. Everyday. But can I go and slap that person awake, ask that person to grow up, wake up? No. Politically incorrect.

But c'mon. You've come to this point in your life where you should honestly think of the future you 2 are sharing together. And I mean really together together, bond by that band around your fingers.

I'm so glad I have you guys. You who most of the time know what I'm trying to put across without too much effort. You who have almost the same frequency as me. Or you who don't, but still manage to understand me. Or you who don't understand, but let it go. Because it's a bloody unimportant thing.

I cannot imagine having hair pulling teeth clenching conversations with everyone. Having to explain the rationale of my actions, about 5 times, and still misread. Like now. And it's not even about global politics, it's about things as stupid as, why one would go for many short trips, but others rather save for one big trip.

C'mon. We know, to each his own. Else, travel agencies at Golden Mile would have gone out of business if people stop going up North for the weekend. Bas Sekolah would not have been activated at KL on Vesak Day week to send too many Singaporeans back home.

And yet it goes on and on.

The world does not revolve around your views.

Conclusion? On top of being able to blow me away with his vocal chords, play an instrument, love me to bits, not fat, not nag at the number of shoes and bags and tops I own, be on the same level as me in terms of the way we want the whole relationship to run, he better be able to understand and communicate properly. If I need to explain something more than twice, out you go.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Seeming sudden obsession

You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber.

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the Strength and Power of
the Dark Side of the Force and have you thirst
for more of it.

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I found out why the lightsabers are the colours they are...

The color of a lightsaber's blade is dependent upon the crystals used to focus it. Blue-bladed lightsabers are loosely associated with Jedi Guardians; green-bladed lightsabers are loosely associated with Jedi Consulars; yellow-bladed lightsabers are loosely associated with Jedi Sentinels; lavender-bladed lightsabers are loosely associated with Jedi Healers; and red-bladed lightsabers are more closely associated with the Sith.

I can't wait to spend all my money at Chatuchat.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

to the dark side, you must go.

For a non star wars fan who don't know who is who, the movie was okay lah. But i think star wars fans would be disappointed, for the link between 3 and 4 is not very great, so i heard. sappy love scenes, aplenty. but not as bad as 2. Fight scenes are not bad. And of course, the CG is fantastic.

I'm not about to criticise the movie here, and i'm totally not qualified to. I'm just trying to boast that I've watched it already.

Well anyways thanks for taking me out.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Pearl of the orient

The MTR now has glass doors to prevent people from falling down or committing suicide.
City people are the same, they don't move to the middle, they don't give up their seats to the elderly, and they are very kan jiong.
I bought student concession fares because I think can pass off as one. Half price!
The city is very much like Bangkok and any other old city, right smack in the midst of some CBD-ish area, or in some very Paragon-ish shopping centres, you get an aisle of cheap stalls selling everything from elephant G-string for guys to fake low grade Gucci bags.
Almost all sales people can speak Mandarin and English now.
Smoking seems almost officially allowed at all air conditioned place I went.
Pushing past people is the right thing to do. Nobody says excuse me (in whichever language) and no one seems to be offended. (You know, I think the Thais will get the shock of their lives when they are pushed like that)
I did buy some nice stuff but because I am BKK trained, it was a little harder to buy things. It's of course never as cheap as Thailand.
It's weird to hear people say "Ho Peng ah" which means very cheap lah, but because I am BKK trained, Peng is expensive. So I am so not totally convinced a few times when the salesperson said that to me.
Singapore's service standard may be low, but HK service standard is worse. You get people tapping their feet impatiently and rolling their eyes at you at dim sum restaurant when you open your wallet to pay.
I really hate the PRCs. They are loud, vulgar, and rude. But rich. Argh.
I was stopped at the Macau casino and was made to flash my passport (for God's sake the age limit is 18)
Some salesgirl told her colleague in Cantonese (and din know my mama can understand) that I am pretty (yeah plus point for HK), but only have "siu siu" pimples on my forehead. BOO HOO!

I'm overall happy, and I'd be back. During sale time.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

It's really so funny how different people are responding to the changes in our lives.

Ping, for one, seems to be going berserk.


Tuesday, May 10, 2005

A random 5am thought

I want to be somebody else.

(And gawd knows why I'm not sleeping)
I've decided to go back to bowling. Before my ball starts to grow mushrooms. I love bowling because...

1. A fun event when playing together with a bunch of friends, laughing at each others’ klutz movements.
2. An intriguing mental game when playing competitive. It is all about concentration.
3. It is a sport where practice pays off.
4. The joy of getting a high game.
5. The joy of sparing a difficult split.
6. Simply the way the ball rolls down the lane.

Anyway, it has been confirmed that I am the official sponsor for the upcoming Macau HK trip. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the most expensive Mother's Day present ever ever. I will be $1,700 poorer. For freaking 4 days 3 nights! (Royston, and you asked if our $60 weekend trip was expensive) X} <-- a pffft face

Assuming I earn an average of $50 for each roadshow I work at, it will take me 34 roadshows to earn it back. Okay, no more bed frames for moi. Sleeping on the floor, is... okay what.

So heaven have pity on me, and rain a rich man at my doorstep.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Aww man. Imagine seeing your name decorated with rose petals, walk along the pathway of rose petals to find the man at that exact spot you met him (in a park), he reads you a poem, with a rose in his hand, and kneels down to propose.

Awwwww! And all in that beautiful winter Michigan setting, some snow left on the ground, fir trees and all.

All of the sudden, my previous entry seems very very boring.

I'm so happy for you Kelly!

Somebody come sweep me off my feet!

My Peace

I found a great place near my house. And it's really tiny because the running track is exactly 400 metres. You have man-made garden with little benches for couples to overlook the giant drain which had no water in it, and the signs state NO WALKING YOUR DOG (???) and NO SOCCER.

But it's cool cos it was 10ish when I went to run and there were nobody. There was however, a skinny girl who overtook me and got me kinda mad inside and I tried to keep up with her, but she stopped after 5 rounds and that made me feel a little better.

I actually like to run a lot. It gives me personal space to think of nonsense. And I will not hear of plugging anything in my ear during that 45 minutes. It's my own space at my own pace.

I realised with great horror that I have put back one of the 3 kg I lost when I religiously ran 4k five times a week during the exam period. And I figured it must be because of the hard drinking, ice cream, hello panda, fish and chip and steak and chicken cutlet.

So I punished my flabby body by running 5k. I could have done more, but I thought I better go easy on this piece of fatty meat after 2 weeks of indolence.

Anyway, I have to give credit to the Lee Hwa ad about how women needing no men to buy diamonds for them. Modern women can afford it. And because of that, I am a proud owner of the Barang Barang Papasan chair which I have been eyeing for two years, for no matter how much hints I give to the man of that moment, nothing happened. So, modern Hui bought it for herself. Now, today, it is sitting at the living room because there is no space to put it in the room yet, and it is indeed one of the most comfortable thing in the world. Because I bought it. Myself for myself.

But of course, if there is anyone who wants to bless me, there are couple of things at the moment which I can think of:

1. The Phantom of the Opera hardback from Kino which is in the classic red with gold letterings.
Books are great gifts. It makes that book special.

2. Ikea vouchers that expire not too soon.

3. Take me out for movies and pay for it but I will buy the drinks and popcorn.

4. Acrylic paint and easel and brushes and canvas. Never enough.

5. That fantastic acrylic cosmetic box which is transparent which makes it really cool to know exactly what is where, with little drawers and big drawers for your shadow pots, lipsticks and generous holding power for your creams at the top.

That's about all. Because for all other things, like my wardrobe revamp, will likely be accomplished from my HK Macau BKK trips.

Can't wait can't wait!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Night Painting by David Pink

Yes, yes? You're here to buy a painting? I should have guessed, by the look in your eyes. Come in. Welcome! Sorry, my friend, I didn't recognize you. We all look different in person. You're early, that's good. Early means eager, eager equals desire, and desire means business. Come, come look!

See here my friend, you could wait all night for the right light. All night long and it might not happen. The day is okay but the sun--that light has been overdone--Vermeer and his over-saturated, buttery light. Realism, my friend, is an illusion.

Now Night, night obscures, night endures. Night is also when most of the action happens in our current wars.

Although half our lifetime is night time, how many really right night paintings do you see? Nearly none. A real good one plays with our senses the way morality does, it's all grey area. Look at this piece. Is that a tree? Yes, yes, it is. But it's also--get this--draped with bodies. That's the beauty of night in Somalia! Or anywhere that's the subject of some good old fashioned American intervention. I can't decide whether or not to begin selling Bosnia. These things sometimes have short courses (we'd be there already if they had some decent natural resources). For sure, for sure, something there is that loves a war.

Of course, it's horrific, my friend. Even more so if the painting is veiled, non-specific, about the human limbs entangled within tree limbs. Abstraction. Synecdoche. How the world goes on despite tragedy. Irony. The car beneath the tree, looking, perhaps, like the burned out husk of a locust! But there are lovey-dove lovers in the car.

In the painting--in your painting, my friend--it will be moaning and rocking and the street will be in Washington--the possible impossible future! Jesus, my friend, can you hear it! "Oh! Oh!" Such a high voice that at first you wonder if someone is dying--or crying. Is this a wedding or funeral? That kind of confusion makes the world go round.

The painting--it's abstract my friend, abstract, abstract,abstract--has as its subtext, its pretext if you will, its pill beneath the sugar, its stick beneath the snow, the figure of someone who has just left his well-lit building for say sushi after staying late at the office, trying to better the world through effective product placement. Most everything is indistinct. But you, you're half in and out of molden golden darkness.

Yes, yes, yes, you're in this. Don't worry! No one will guess! That's part Hopperish, like the midnight cuppa-coffee-at-the-diner bit. Hat pulled down, under a ton of paint, my friend, you could be anyone.

Then it hits the wall! Across semi-dense atomized darkness rocks a car in rhythm and sorrow (like there's no tomorrow). The viewer's mind is on you as subject; stunned, projected into the scene as if the object that the unknown fantasy woman's tourniquet-tight panties are applied to were your sex (but this is all extrapolation, deeply hidden and chic--believe me, no one will link you with world events). Both men and women, instead of being aghast, will respond with a voyeur's laugh (who asked for any of this?)--it's all bittersweet, joyous and absurd! New life being created beneath the shadows of newly created death. What more does anyone want!

You're in your own world, just out and about. Forget about the sushi--say you're out to see about your mother, who maybe hasn't been feeling all that well as only she and you should know, my friend, (I saw her yesterday).

Anyway, in dark grey-greens and oh so subtle magenta are the strange fruit of human limbs dripping blood onto the top of that late model lovers' lodge! Let's make it a Dodge for rhythm's sake and made it that the schmuck in the car's been cheating on his wife, etc. etc. Just like real life!

This idea is a winner, my friend. The significance of the painting is so well hidden that no one will figure out is its meaning. It'll be like surrealism: it could mean anything! The key is in the interpretation. But believe me people will comment. The blood color alone is enough to excite the shark in us. It's a way for you to feel out your clients. Whatever they see you see and Bingo! Bango! You've bagged another account!

Why the long face?

Too much blood?

Listen, last night I had dinner with a very wise American couple (for whom I've done a number of these things). They were over there earlier during this terrible trouble and know the scene and its possibilities quite well. They are the ones who said that if something isn't done soon there will be blood someday in the streets of Washington!

She writes and he takes pictures. They are an attraction.

Believe me, they are both quite well-off from their experiences. My art-on-their-wall, I submit, deserves no credit. Death, my friend, sad to say, is money in the bank. But show me a fear and I'll show you a career. Fear is the opiate of the masses! Capa & Capra! McCarthy! Germaine Greer! People want to know what to fear next. Believe me I'm correct. The beauty of this, my friend, is that you need no expertise to be an expert. Saying art makes nothing happen makes as much sense as saying that beauty is an illusion. But that's the beauty of beauty, will people never tire of interpretation?

This couple, my friend, are very well paid "witnesses of conscience." He shoots the pics and she starts the memoir almost before the bodies hit the ground.

"As long as there's a war," they said at a recent awards ceremony, "we'll be there to see." Talk about job security!

The Governor, the speaker at the dinner, called them the vanguards of "thinking without blinking." They are reality. When not on sabbatical making money at whatever front, they team-teach a course in "International Morality" at a major American university; one course per year, full tenure and full salary. He wears Lauren, she wears Gucci.

Everyone knows their names. They sell. But I'm not selling them, my friend, now I'm selling you. And you, you could do quite well too.

Believe me, my friend, I can paint you from a photo--easily and quite cheaply.

My friend, be clever. The stars in the painting, if anyone sees them, will shine down as if they've been there forever, the sky opened up like one big jewelry store.

So what do you say? Bombs away with night painting?

My friend what is it? You look like you're fainting!

Sunday, April 24, 2005


Honestly I so have no idea who he is, but his song is just sooo cutteeee! (Yet another odd description seeing how he look in the picture above)
I'm so totally addicted to perfect it, especially in the off key octave owwwnnnn

(in the American Tale's voice)

Lonely I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely....

Can someone teach me how to play music in my blog? Yeah that song.

P.S. I cannot believe someone thought the "poem" below wasn't my own.

Monday, April 18, 2005

my solitary little dance

pink little top
white little heels
couldn't stop me
from dancing in the rain

i jumped into a puddle
ran, hopped, laughed, twirled myself round,
got splashed by a passing car
but it couldn't stop me
from dancing in the rain

i knew i will sneeze
and even catch a cold
fall sick
and miserable
but the rain
the rain it beckoned me
come dance with me

and so i did
like i would when i was a kid
mascaraed? lined? waxed?
who cares about the stares

it was between me and the rain

with my arms wide open
head right up
feeling it

nothing stopped me
from dancing in the rain

I forgive you

No matter how fucked up the situation is, I can never stay angry at you for long.

So yes, as loud as you shout, I'm too the same.

No we din go through the foreign lands, 90% school, 200% outside school, for nothing.

Neither did you suffer hearing things you've heard 50 times before, again and again and again and pretend that you actually don't mind hearing it, for nothing.

flawed as you are, I told you before:-

I think I will love you forever.

Monday, April 11, 2005

I'm a Schizotypal antisocial histrionic narcissistic dependent sloth!

OMG. I am not as normal as I thought I would be.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test:

P.S. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying. I'm still not studying.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

So so, which SATC character do you identify me with?

Please mail your answers to and let me collate the results.

It can be a mixture too.

You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!

You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it shows

However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals.

Your love of the clearance rack has paid off...

You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all!

Are You a Shopaholic? Take This Quiz :-)

Friday, April 08, 2005

I've always remembered how people kick a big fuss out of cutting hair. When I snipped off the long tresses towards the end of J1 (which wasn't all that long like to my armpit or chest because I only tried to grow it out sec 4), my friends were like,

What happened to you? Your boyfriend dumped you?

It must have been drastic incidents, never just because you're sick of your hair or something.

I've never felt like that. Going for a hair cut never have been a big deal, but I almost always feel better. I never had the experience of crying and feeling like a coconut. Perhaps I am just lucky. And my Brad Pitt said Hair will Grow. So whattheheck eh.

I feel lighter, like a load is now off my head. And I love the way it feels to be shampooed. I love have people wash my hair for me, to fuss over not getting soap into my ears, and of course the mmmm mmm sensation of having my head scratched.

And I love to look at my hair being cut. I always hold a magazine, but never really read it, because I will just stare right at my hairdresser looking so intensely at my hair, paying so much attention to make me look good.

And I always let them have their way, because I like to make people feel happy. And the okay loh, you think nice then cut loh always brings a smile to their face.

And because of all of the above, I really think my hair will never ever grow long enough.

Now I'm sporting a bob head with side fringe (see I will never grow out my fringe despite the fact that I've tried for years). That funny Malaysian man even asked if hairdressers simply love to chop my hair off off off because it is so layered. And he said even he felt like doing it, but I insisted I wanted to grow out the layers, so he decided on that bob head thing.

I would have loved to put up a picture if I did not concuss on my bed (make up, presentation clothes and all) the moment I reached home. So too bad.

P.S. because I was in full suit, I was charged adult price for my haircut. (!!!) And no one looks at me on the street anymore. Not like a lot of people stare at me all the time, I actually liked the way people check you out by taking a glance. Bimbotic as it sounds, it empowers me that hey, okay lah, you still look not bad. Or at the very least, your clothes are not bad. And me in my full black suit and another full black suit beside me, we were transparent, people just walked passed us. We just blended into the background.

Anyway, at the library yesterday, I met THE MAN himself. Hideo Asano. Kirpal talked about him in class about being this man (I'm rather open to eccentricity lately) who believed in his own writing and printed out books in photocopied paper and binded them unprofessionally. He even printed a page which had Kirpal's name and comments in it. I should let him know.

I thought he would be some shabby looking man, but was a well dressed Japanese who spoke good English and had big dreams and ideas in life. He wanted to sell his books because he could not find any publisher to do it, and instead they printed all the junks that surrounded us.

That he was a lone fighter, and said writers only become famous after they die.

I could have handed him money for that new "book" he had, (which was actually first printed out in 1994 but he said he spent 1 year improvising it) American Breakfast easily, just like the way I handed my money to the Malaysian who cut my hair, but I was not convinced by him.

Can I say I feel that he is stupid to waste his life away like this? Not really. He simply believed. He could have taken the easy way out. The way I did. But he didn't. But I just wasn't convinced. So I said no politely, and he walked off.

Kirpal thinks he wouldn't survive in Singapore. But if he was in Europe, perhaps he would, because people will just buy it from him anyway. But how many Singaporeans will?

And I agree. Sadly I am one of those. I tried to give excuse that I was sleepy and couldn't think properly (I really was sleepy and really couldn't think properly), but even if I wasn't sleepy and could think properly, would I?

I think I won't.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

i surrvvivveedd the piitttcchhh boooOOk

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
through this monday without falling on my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how to do the figures (and not get it) wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on (without much sleep)


Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I HAVE surviveDDDD

And now, just 2 more reports *gasps*, 1 more presentation and 2 more exams *uhhhh!* till I am



And I think I might suffer from SMU withdrawal, despite the lack of committment throughout the 4 years.

Afterall, it is the only school that students are willing to pin badges declaring their undying love.

Btw, does everyone know that all graduates are automatic members of the SDU once graduated?
I'm going back to Bangkok. AGAIN!

I love Air Asia.

Oh, did I mention, at $1.99 each way?

Monday, April 04, 2005

buey tahan liao. i need to sleep.

tuesdays with Morrie

yes i have taken down the i am so full of self pity post.

i've saved it in my email as a draft, so for kaypohs who want to have a peep, drop me a mail and i will see if i want to send it to you or not.

anyways, morrie helped. i think. i thought he din. but when i woke up (at 3pm no less, since i slept at 7am) i felt.. hey, okay. i was actually truly happy today. i went for a jog, my mom won 4d, we went for a good meal, i set up my hifi, packed up my room, did up my bathroom shelving system, threw out 3 empty carton boxes (i love to see the way the no. of boxes decrease slowly), sold a few more stuff on auctions, now i am here to deal with my beloved ibanking again, and my partner has affectionately renamed herself bang keyboard on msn.


btw, yesterday, despite my committment to my projects, which i was cursing and swearing when i was in the lift on my way home (welcome where the pigeons dwell) intending to make a big fuss here ranting all about it, because it is afterall my final sem, and all the bullshit and boosting of my meer 3.5 modules are rubbish because i've been in school, every single day last week, 'cept one, and i still have 3 more projects due, and 2 more exams in these 2 weeks, i finished reading tuesdays with Morrie.

but as a result, i had to work till 7am.

but then again, i feel happy. because i saw some light. (literally too! you know, the sunrise view at my room, not bad sia) i never thought i could. i could rewrite my previous post then, since i hate it but not as much as i thought already. maybe, one fine day, i could really deal with this pitch book shit. real life. real time. real money.

haha. dream on bumblebee.

Thursday, March 31, 2005


I hate finance post

Why did I even decide to take on this module? Because the faculty is cute? funny? because he will spoon feed us?

The lady is certain: she will not embark in a job that has anything near these figures, these FCFFs, these EBITDA EBIT EBI, these valuations, these net operating income = (EBIT + non operating income) x (1 - tx) - minority interest in erarnings + other incomes (loss) - extraordinary items and discontinued operations

these pitch books.

these IPOs.

these M&As

These fucking number crunching freaky stuff.

So what if you will pay $2.1 million to my team for fees?

I cannot man. I just cannot.

So good bye JPMorgan dream. Good bye a lot of money.

I am so so so on the verge now. And I mean it. d e s p e r a t e l y.

It's just terrible terrible terrible.

It look 4 whole years and ONE freaking module to decide that I'm so not for it.

I was so happy with Economics. Why din I just stayed on. Why din I transfer to BSc (Econs) or let it be my double. Why din SMU offer Econs as a first major?

Well maybe just i banking.


So don't talk to me till 5pm on Monday where I will meet the doom man. The man that caused me all these agony. The man who uses pokemon as his password. An* Se* Ke*g!!!

The only fucking redemming factor is that it keeps my mind off.

So let's to the gym wear that Kebaya fly off to space with my Anakin.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

a lil out of the blue concern for my chao mugger friends

who are typically situated at the left hand corner of the singapore map, right at the edge, where even the mrt track ends. yes you guys...

i know, its tough to be top honours. and i cannot say aye don't start so early lah, because you are the ones who will graduate with people waving their scholarships at you (and that person who signed his life to the government, ....)

but okay lah, just try to sleep okay. this no sleep till morning and pia revision thing is... just waay beyond me.

(comp eng people are weird)

Saturday, March 26, 2005


The effect of a passing cloud of gas/aerosol will be delayed inside tents, buildings and vehicles. Owing to the lower air exchange in such places, it will take longer for the cloud to penetrate. A certain amount of the CW agent will be taken up and bound on walls and other surfaces, which also contributes to decreases in concentration. Consequently, it may be expected that there is a certain reduction in the effect of a passing cloud of gas.

It will, thus, take longer for the cloud of gas to penetrate a house, for example. For the same reason, the gas will remain longer in-doors when the rest of the cloud has passed by. Consequently, it is of the greatest importance to obtain information on when it is possible to start airing the building again.

Will the cloud clear? When?

The cloud passed through. Through a non existing 2004. Does it really take longer to penetrate? Or is it clearing out.

"Modern communication enabling technologies will only heighten your sense of desolation by making you more keenly aware of the fact that no one is trying to call."

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Moving house is never fun

Especially when you move twice in a year, plus pseudo moving in Thailand. So that makes 3 times.

But I guess it's the mega da shao chu for me, since my household have never been big on that every year. So we get decade old stuff still lurking around, clothes you wun take a second look at, and *gasps* my toys. Not those selected few, but almost ALL my toys.

I choose to adopt the throw away now, while my mum decided to go there then clear as there is no time. And my bro? Just not do anything about it.

But the good part is, I can now design the room the way I want it. I painted it in a ridiculous color that made the room look smaller, but I like it so shuddup. :D

No house warming anytime soon my friends, it will take the Chong Family months (hopefully) to get the house carton box free.

But meanwhile, you are welcome to try out my spanking new not-even-out-of-the-packaging MJ table.

Not next week though, because the deadlines we have to meet? Terrible.

Due to the lack of financial resources, the China dream is more or less dashed. At least, for the better half. I still got money lah, but have no idea where. Phillipines?

To end this boring entry, here's some cut and paste shit (since it seems to be in the rage nowadays and I am but a trend follower :P) I have been warned by that forwarded msg that if I don't send it to 10 people, I will NEVER EVER have good sex. Isn't that scary really!

"This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex.
The original is in a room in Palaiseau.
It has been sent around the world nine times.
Now sex has been sent to you.

The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off."

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women
make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which
makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than
swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into
the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you
with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages
saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that
causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release
the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Before I start my speech, and because you silly pig have NO comment box, here it is.

"So, Ki*rpal really did make your life better in a weird way eh? I mean, sure, it's kinda crappy that he talks about himself all the time, but hey the module actually got a bit of use lah?"

Today's post will not be of some thoughts I've been thinking about a lot all this while, because I hadn't been thinking much. But for a change, because I am such a mysterious person, I shall spell out the days (not in such a boring way as some other blogs but yes, let me end this poorly constructed sentence now.

M1 was okay. Apart from the fact that they did not seem to fancy Motorola and placed the display sets either next to something prettier and cheaper, or right next to your feet, where you need to squat waaay waay down and squint to see the display, they were okay. At least, not as bad as the hearsay is. Or at least because I was so on guard, I din even sneak off anywhere except to sit on the toilet bowl for about 5 minutes. But then again, the sales wun that fantastic. So overall? Not entirely worth it.

Sunday was rest because somebody else wanted to work and if I don't go to hell, who will? (translate to Mandarin pulease) But it was good because Miss Lee informed me about IKEA sale and I managed to buy my corner bookcase (not very easy to find), my bathroom shelving system, the tek ko for curtains for sista, a long wire meant for curtains but I'd put it at my bed and clip pictures, paintings or whatever. At some discount. And I realised my Dad's new car is actually quite amazing, the back seats and be put down and alas, extended space to put barangs at the back of the car. My bookcase managed to come home with me in the car, and I was on top of it literally. With my mum's new quilt as a pillow, I curled up and took a nice nap home.

And today I closed my bank account, took out the 3k left in it and walked across the street with the stack of 50's to UOB to do a cash deposit. (Note: No pockets in my shorts, din bring no bag) My mum almost fainted.

And I played this new game Yun Huey bought from JB. Imagine building your own Shopping Centre! Wasn't that fantastic, but occupied me quite a bit.

And today is SO hot. I hate this weather.

The End.