I'm sick. I have some viral infection which the source and cause is unknown as of now. but I have been brutally rashed, and it has itched me to hell. So bad that the person who sleeps next to me could not sleep a wink and was reduced to watching Survivor on TV at wee wee hours while I kicked the blanket and cursed and sweared and snored.

Being Chong Hui Hui, of course, I still could sleep like a log. Only that I scratched and whined and don't remember a thing in the morning, except seeing the rashes are now full blown inflamed things, and of course apologise to the man.

I digress. Back to the pink things. I have one on my tummy which is so big, I wanted to take pictures and post it up to show everyone (it's now about the size of your fist when you clench it), but i realised my tummy has grown to such an astonishing size that it will be a total embarrassment to flash it to the world, only to make people wonder in their head,

"Wah Biang, she must be 4 months pregnant liao sia"

So no thank you.

And because of the rashes (which the poor innocent dog sty was a suspect), my room is now cleaned, aired, sheets are changed and my 3 pillows are waving in the sun. Which is a blessing in disguise, although it always smells really nice because of my air freshener, my collection of dust must have been real impressive already. So now we smell fresh air and can roll about the floor without worries!

And (hurrah to you)I've changed my mind about the Zara sale. Unless I happen to walk by, I'm NOT going to make a trip down purposely to shop there. With that kind of mentality, I will NEVA EVA be able to save up for a grad trip to anywhere (maybe Hantu-fied Phuket can, but no thank you).

But I miss real dress up till pretty pretty and sit at a corner and bitch days. Just girls. Hear: I crave girly outings. Help me back into civilisation please. I mean, it seems I have NOWHERE to wear these clothes to anymore!

While the mess is cleared in the dog sty, I found the journal Mark bought for me for Vday or Xmas, which I have decided to start 2005. But so far only 1 entry was made, and it was so GaWd damN boring. The sort of entry you will go prff at. So I vow to write it down in paper more often, and it should be more interesting than this rant heading nowhere.

Here are the things I set to achieve (more than once for some) like soon, but for those who are interested to make it happen for me, do click comment and RSVP by saying. Dear Mdm, I will be interested in event (a) My best possible timing is weeknights (etc).

a. Girly outing. Being a typical Singaporean sitting at coffee places (but can we go to somewhere with chocolate and/or icecream pls)
b. Skating
c. K-boxing
d. Write me a long email about your latest happenings
e. Bring me out for a spin. Not ME driving this time
f. Come to my place and let me offer you some baileys with milk or coffee. Or for the non-alcholics, you can try my Milo Dinosaur. Look through and gasps at my clothes and photos and laugh and roll around my bed with me
g. take the time to meet me and notice that I have chopped my hair off. Again.

SALE

Now on. Today! Who wants to go with me??

Anyways, this has been on my mind for the longest time, but yet not do anything about it.

It seems like every since I am back, I'm kinda different. Remember I was talking about how I am so not ready to head back into the socialising world? I still ain't. It's probably not Xenophobia (phobia of knowing new people?) but put me in a group setting and I will just fidget around, feeling uncomfortable but at the same time try to, and often succeed in looking as if I fit in well.

What is it with me? Of doing things to please others? Of being just human but looking perfect all the time just like the woman in Desperate Housewives? Well?

I donch know man. Honestly it seems so perfectly normal that sometimes I can even bluff myself that you are actually quite okay what. And Rose even said, in the first place, she don't think I have changed. I have always been kinda anti-social, in a weird way because it is only when you really know me that you know I'm not as much a social butterfly as what the words plastered on my forehead claims.

But truth is, as I quote baby, I am even more aloof than he is, despite his whole ah beng outlook.

But but, what's the whole point. I'm sure once I step into the workforce, real or fake, comfortable or not, you still have to clinch your deal, you still have to convince that auntie, you may have to drink and party with a tiko pek. So what's the big deal really?

Afterall, the show must go on.

You Are 21 Years Old

21 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

My new found daily bread

Holy, this is good stuff man. Cheeky (whoever you are who stumbled on my blog), you rock man! I'm adding you to my links.

Anyways, click any one of this string of words to be thoroughly amused.

Anyway, this is class missing week sia. Never attend any of the 8.30am classes.

And Happy Hari Raya Haji to all the Muslim friends!

Quickie

Just some thoughts to jot down while my heater heats for my shower.

What do you really want out of a job?

I'm still trying to grapple my interest. Am I really the kind who can sit in front of 6 screens and note the market trend up downs? Being so busy at work?

It is actually starting to make sense. And disgusting I feel on not knowing as much as I probably should, although it is a 'all-rounded' education, my level of knowledge isn't enough.

At least I think (and freaking hope) that Civil Engineers graduate knowing all the blueprints, calculation and could take on a real project with a team.

But if you give me $1m to invest for a risk adverse man, I'd be at a loss.

Well maybe as a graduate, you're not expected to know anyway. It's all about learning on the job.

But somehow, it seems not enough leh.

Like in short, I'm not up to it man.

Well till again.

Of all things I have to decide between

1. Investment Banking
2. International Finance

I know, both don't sound appealing at all right? And I wonder again, am I Finance-ish?

Donch think so leh

Le Fantôme de l'opéra

For any donkeys out there who still do not know my obsession with the biggest musical in the world, You Don't Deserve To be my Friend!



You should have guessed how my big round face lit up when I saw the heard the famous theme song, then followed by the trailer (It was in MBK's cinema). How my mouth opened and eyes widen.

When I stepped into the theatre yesterday, I was overwhelmed (I seem to like that word recently).

Note: I have never been to the musical. I first fell in love with the songs (Andrew Lloyd Webber you rock) and got the CD as a pressie long ago. And since then, I have listened to it at least 100 times. Could have guessed, I noticed every little differences in the lyrics/ dialogues. And Sarah Brightman, although you are not very pretty and getting fat, you still sing better lah.

And it was so cool, it's trying to do a checklist on what I have imagined it to be vs what was presented on screen, basically having the same expression which Christine had throughout the whole show (that wide eye in awe look), and even sang out loud here and there without knowing I did and kanna caught doing so.

It was honestly not perfect. But I'm not going to dwell on it here. In fact, I don't care. It's just like every little boy's dream of watching AVP on the big screen. Mine's this. Well although I would really love to be treated to Broadway and be seated right in front and have the whole shattered chandelier above me and all. I might just marry the man who do that.

And I would like to go to Opera Populaire, smell the 19th century air and sit in the horse carriage. Heh.

P.S. I think I am the only person in the whole cinema who cried in that show. No, there wasn't really any point in the show which is touching enough to cry for. But I am not the general public. I am Fantomhui. :D



P.P.S. The Fantom, got sexy mouth lah. I lurve nice mouths.

You know what? I think all the talks about having to readjust back to our culture postexchange is very true.

I had mixed thoughts. At the beginning I thought oh no I will have the I MISS THAILAND symptoms because everything is so expensive back home, and everything is so orderly and clean and well, governmentish.

But it is not really that I am missing Thailand that much, but more like I am a little apprehensive about integrating back into the whole socialising thing. I'm glad I'm home, like literally in my house. But back to all the friends and lifestyle I put on whole for 5 months, hmmm I'm still trying.

Afterall, I only had 2 people to fuss about for 5 whole months. It's either Ping or Rose (and darling too). Now I suddenly have so many friends, it actually was a little overwhelming.

Which is why I was actually glad that my phone is still suspended (okay okay I will go reconnect it tommorrow) and thus it's not that easy to contact me. I'm even glad that as I am only, not that many people are bugging me on MSN (please don't stop talking to me).

And I want to apologise to everyone for not calling you guys at all since my return. (It's just 3 God damn days anyway) I have been hiding in my room for the past 3 days, only coming downstairs (or out with my family) to eat, and even missed a very important person's birthday celebration (SORRY!) for having to entertain yet another group.

And I have barely been back, barely slept enough, barely had me time me life in me room and school has freaking started. And the modules will freak me out.

So will the kiasu Singaporeans, the be my groupmate process, the project meetings, the 2 Finance modules.

I don't know man, I'm probably making this whole thing bigger than it seems, and I think tommorrow when I step back into my school without my fucking laptop which died (FOR 1 WHOLE SEMESTER!) I will certainly not look like a hermit nor speak in a funny way but retain that bubbly hey wassup what did you do to your hair act.

But for those who care, you may just feel that it may be a teeny bit putting on a front. I don't know, maybe I won't. But hey, I'm sure I'm such an adaptable creature I'd be back.

Anyways, 2005 looks like a good year ahead with wacky things already on my way.

1. I'm moving. This time to a real home. So come March I will be packing unpacking again! (I've NEVER done this packing shit so many times in my life) And it will be exciting cos I can get my own room and design it.

2. My brother is getting MARRIED! I lurve weddings.

3. I'm graduating. I'm not so excited about stepping into the working world, but I can finally wear the mortar board. Haha.

Also, I have been trying to get over the Tsunami thing. It's just so sad (we all know about how sad it is to lose lives and buildings yah) that this place that I called home for 5 months, which we have more than once joked about retiring and living like queens, buying over a whole hill and having houses this size and that design, opening a beach bar and stuff. And boooom it goes my pretty pretty Phi Phi. I wonder if the guy who brought us outsea island hopping is still alive, I wonder how Maya Bay look like now, I wonder if the cute waiter that can mimic a rooster is okay. Random stuffs like that. It felt close. But again, like all human beings, you awww about things and these thoughts passes.

And I wonder about the after effects where corals reefs are gone, marine lives may go extinct, people may become sick with contamination of their water, of the carcasses. Of the tourism industry, of the smiley Thais who lost their jobs.

And I'm sorry I am so biase towards Thailand when India was worst hit, or Sumatra.