Accomplished

Well accomplished weekend despite us both being sick. Went down to IMM and got so many things done!

Updates to the Huiton house:

- Homogeneous tiles ordered - will start work soonish, like next week for the living room.
- Room laminate flooring chosen, cement screeching should have completed
- Kitchen design out, to finalise the material and nitty grits - I'd be having a red and black kitchen! Imagine red and black shiny shiny with all the cool cutting edge looking kettles and pots.

Went to Sim Siang Choon and bought:

- Water heater tank (30l) to power up for 2 toilets and sinks
- Sink and Tap
- Toilet paper holder
- Backside spray (beside the toilet bowl one :p)
- Hob and hood

Think it was cool to like look up at the designs, think about how this will match that and also 'that tap looks kinda cool'. Good thing CT decided against his beautiful 4 hobs. When you don't cook, get so many hobs for what! So we settle for 2, and it's black and shiny with metallic outline to match the sink, which is a big metallic thing. And a nice hood (chimney style.) Stylo right!



And a Samsung fridge. Not too big, just good for 2 pax.

Also, paid the deposit for the ROM venue. The Manager has changed 2 times since we were there the first time - hope the restaurant won't be gone before we ROM man!

Plus over the week, I have collected my Bulgari wedding band, and decided on my photographer for the ROM dinner! Good that things are falling into the right places. This is such an exhausting, time consuming and mentally draining testing period. Especially when I have to work late every night somemore. It's really all about spending money to solve the problems. Well, outsourcing for efficiency I guess. At least it'd be over in another 2 months time.

Then we will look at our bank book and cry.

But it's okay lar. We can do it!

Sorry

Didn't mean to implicate the other parties that shouldn't be involved. My deepest apologies to you, and you.

Tis been a while...

since I got home this early to nobody. I like to peace and quiet and the me time I get occasionally.

It infuriates me to the max when people press my hot buttons. Not like I don't get enough crap at work dealing with humans every single day. I have to deal with someone who owes me a grand total of 4 grand, returning me in installment plan with no interest rate, pathetically at $100 a month, paying a month and skipping half a year. After these years, the amount stays at 1.6 grand unpaid.

Someone who will be educating our children in the future.

Someone who, instead of paying up, insist on seeing what he has owed to know 'what he is paying for'... when in the first place, he hasn't been paying back much! And I am supposed to have a spreadsheet to account for all that.

And during which, in 2006, when I conveniently left to reside in another continent, the repayment automatically stopped till I barked.

Every Chinese new year when I am told to return whoever the money I owe, I think of the small fortune I left out in the open to a man who do not respect the lender - not getting any interest simply because I feel lesser a person for doing so - and it just kills me. At least if one is superstitious enough, you will believe that it will come back to you. I don't even wish to use the harsh R word.

But what makes me stronger is knowing that thankfully, I got out. Not as fast as I should, but. And even if the bling that sits on my finger does not necessarily mean I have it all, at least it is comforting to know that the man that sleeps next to me is a mature, responsible, dependable man who bothered to crack his head to think of ways to ask me for my hand.

And at least he can afford it.

There is absolutely nothing better than 3 words for him:

Shame on you.

Be Strong

I trampled over an old friend's blog. One whom we never met again, or speak much, after living in the same room for 4 months together 5 years ago.

Because of this fact, I feel intrusive to simply pick up the phone or msn or even the random comment on the blog to tell her this, but I feel for you too.

Reading her past few entries were like deja vu to me. There were one too many times that I felt I was never going to ever, ever be okay again. I will never live my life not remembering how painful those feelings are. That it will never heal.

And it never heals completely. It never will. I don't think I will be able to live my life and pretend that part of my life never exist. The feeling comes back and you feel the hurt and pain again and you sometimes cry over it. My partner has learned to accept that this pain has made me who I am now, and he lives with it, and lived through it before as well, like many others. But it can only turn better. It will become better.

Have a little faith, and let time tell. It will.

I have e-filed my marriage!

My singlehood officially ends 260708.

Update:

Keys to be collected in 5 days time.
Rings chosen
Venue picked
Date arranged

So exciting

Money woes

Having the feeling of lottery with the 00005 without actually winning the moolahs but suddenly sinking into a more than 300k loan is no joke. On top of that, all I think about is my kitchen where to put my dining table should i buy a top or front load washing machine what tiles for the floor of the living room dark laminated flooring for the room and are we going to knock the kitchen door down?

Besides, I have a more than full time job that sucks up my time and energy. So, it is quite a lot to handle.

I almost forgot. I have to concurrently think about the dress and the venue.

Haiyo. What a blissful problem I have.

Transcend

Love can do that.

For the lack of updates

Life has been about settling back down. Left Singapore after coming back for 3 days to a extended holiday in Thailand with Jason, who I hope is doing well in London now. Job search was a quickie - when I came back I knew there was only 2 ways for me to head - Banking or Recruiting. I went to 2 different recruitment firm, chose one, and my life back in Singapore started for real.

Looking back at the chances I have given up - to live in another city, continue to lead this traveller's lifestyle, I guess it will be impossible to say that nope there is no regrets. You always look back and feel envious of the life you could have had. But there is just too many 'what-ifs' in my life.

It was fun but because you knew it wasn't permanent - and so it is hard to feel it to take ownership of it to be part of it. I am just a soul in a big city I do not belong to. Sure I have fun, sure I think it's a great city, but the lack of commitment brings about too, a lack of belonging.

But at least I am not lost now. I have found my direction. It's not really a calling, but it is something I have confidence to do well and build my life around. I don't like to settle for mediocrity. I don't need to be the golden girl, but I cannot be like everyone else.

And of course, since he is stuck here. I sort of have to stick around. I don't mind.

Bliss means complete happiness

This is my happiness