It's almost 7am. I'm awake. I'm online. I'm distracted. I'm almost not tired. I know not why. I tried to study. I manage to a little. I keep thinking of things. I'm distracted.

Anyway, here's something I wrote ages back. in 2001 or 2002.

"Well, for those who know me, they will know me for having actions strongly governed by impulse, being unable to endure restrictions on my freedom. rights i call them. outspoken and at times argumentative, sarcastic, and indiscrete. well i do know my faults, though I dun really consider them as faults, but rights i call them. on the surface, i am a bubbly, outgoing, cheeky and loud, almost without a sense of shame or embarassment. that i am. yet I am private. no, I do not seek isolation, i enjoy the company of people: my friends, my family, my loved ones etc, yet when it comes to my innermost thoughts and feelings, i hardly allow any to enter. only a special few whom had touched my heart are allowed into my inner world. even so, not everyone understands the real me. because in fact, not one, not even myself, knows.

i love to day dream, talk to myself, dream of the future. recently, i keep thinking about what comes after death. its so frightening. but hey let's avoid speaking about the inevitable. sheesh.

i dream of the future, i dream of myself being a grandma, with my grandchildren running around, with my husband, still loving as ever, hand in hand, taking care of them as our children are busy with their career. i dream of a wonderful family. guess afterall, i'm just a little woman, and family life somehow comes into the picture more than being a successful entrpreneur or anything. not that i don't want to be successful too. but well, nothing beats being a tai tai. rich tai tai. :D"