Buda? Pest?

It's 2ish in the morning and I am in the swanky Intercontinental Hotel Budapest. It has been 05 fun filled days, with the first 3 being (too) hot and sunny, but now I'm wishing for the sun to come back. All of the sudden, many thanks to global warming, the temperature dipped from 32 to 17 in a flash and my bikinis and summer dress are back in my luggage and out comes my jumper and jeans. And umbrella. At least the weather forecast says it's going to be sunny, albeit cold, for the next 2 days, so I am happy. So much for the fucking summer.

It has thus far been a good trip. Hanging out with a whole contingent of people on the road to their PhD who are here in Budapest to present their dissertation has been a great experience - very stimulating and actually, great fun. Jason thinks hanging out with too many smart people makes him feel stupid, but I tend to disagree. In fact, hanging out with these smart asses makes me realise that I am honestly quite smart too (I don't give a shit if you think ya right, as if - I think so can already), and it helps to reaffirm that I can do it too, if I want to. I hate that Shaun is always right, and there was this moment today where I heard his voice ringing in my head saying what he said to me a while ago, 'You know you have so much more potential in you, I am so disappointed you did not push yourself.'

And indeed I didn't. And did not graduate with the honours I (genuinely believe) could have gotten and settled for the very general degree, because 5 years ago honours didn't seem to matter and having fun seem to be the most important thing at that mo.

But it's not. And it's not whether or not people without the 1:1 or 2:1 honours succeed in life or not - at this moment I just feel like I've let myself down, academic-wise.

There is always the other side of the argument where people have achieved academically and felt that they could have done more with their lives during those period of time, or that it isn't as big a deal as everyone makes it, apart from the fact that they make more money than everyone else and make their parents proud during their convocation.

Shrugs.

Anyhoo, all's been said and done. One thing I've learned from this going-away-from-Singapore is, once you made the decision, just move on in life. Once in a while it's okay to look back and reflect, for such reflection helps one grow, but don't regret, mope around feeling sorry. Just accept it as a mistake in life, as all man err, and make the best of now. Just be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to answer to yourself.

So what is my mid term goal to make it up to myself? Play enough in Europe, come back to Singapore, get a decent job, be in managerial position within the 4, 5 years so that the university that will accept my 1:1 boyfriend may accept me too, into their MBA Executive programme, then we can live happily ever after.