As we expected, we didn't win. Too last minute, never train and being lousy ourselves. Also, saw a few national youth squad people who joined. Well, it's allowed of course, but not very fair isn't it.

But it was great fun nonetheless, cheering like mad for the guys and experiencing the whole adrenaline of a competition. And of course, hearing the foul beep go off when I stepped on the foul line, 4 times. Bloody hell wasted my 30-over points.

Brought me to a point of make or break, whether or not I want to bowl competitive ever. One of the team member said this is the end of her bowling career and from now on she'll just use a house ball and bowl with her friends for fun. Her friends (and mine too) can never understand why we don't really want to bowl if we didn't bring our own ball. And it is quite hard to explain. Because it is customised? And she hates explaining, and now, once she has this mindset of giving it up, I guess she'd do fine laughing at stupid stunts and all. I share her sentiments.

Guess it is the same for every other thing. Even simple thing like Counterstrike, which I had played like once in my life and was quite happy. Laughed my heads out trying to stare at each other through the sniper's view, buying the most expensive gun and forcing our friend to run around while the 2 of us (each parked at a corner) will challenge to see who manage to kill him first. Stupid, silly things like that. Something you will never be able to do once you decided to go competitive or be serious about it. Like you will play strategy, and only want to play with your team and crap.

So if I'm to continue, I want solid foundational training, going back to how to stand how to release how to hold the ball. And be serious about it and really improve. Like an investment. Otherwise, just let it go and bowl once in a while for fun. Quit the team and be happy being recreational. No point having the name of being in the team and be half hearted and turn up once in a while, and will never improve.

So there, what should I do?