Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Of things in life I rather wish never did happened to me

Breakups are always horrible. I've experienced enough of those myself. Stories repeat day after day, from one to another. Tears never does dry. Not so soon.

The feeling sux. And while I wish I will never have to go through any break up anymore, I suspect that it is highly unlikely.

And relationship problems. He doesn't care enough for me, he makes decision without me yada yada. Why are human relationships so difficult to manage really? I mean, you hear about it, you console your friends; or yourself, but that's all you can do.

Let us put a halt to this sort of crap man. How, you ask? I donch know! Because when that situation comes along, my basic instinct is to keep my mouth tightly shut.

"What's wrong?"

".. Nothing."

I just hate those why-can't-you-just-tell-me situations, because I JUST CAN'T! And I know I am not at all making sense now.

(P.S. While I like to do the disappearing act myself every now and then, I just absolutely HATE the way I cannot find the person when I need to, because the phone is off. So charge along please)

No, I'm actually not speculating about my relationship. Really. No worries peeps, I'm doing good. Far better than my own expectations. I still flare up all the time and bite (not literally like you know who), but it has been great. At least there isn't situations where I meant something and he totally reads it the other way. And I think I fare pretty okay too. It's great that well, he just knows. :)

But well I mean, when did life ever did run smooth? I just don't wish to be too hopeful, it only means I fall from a greater height.

I don't know. I mean, with an angel going through so much life and death shit now, all these break ups and materialism seems, well, less important than it really might be. And while I do sympathise really, I just cannot help feeling helpless about someone else's something else.

And I do feel guilty at times, for not being a friend indeed, but instead, give comments on how one's life should be led without even really going deep in there to understand truly.

Like Ping says, there seem nothing much we can say, less nothing much we can do. But I just want to sum up our discussion of some sort:

There is no perfect balance between a relationship and a life.
Might be the curse of the modern world truly - 24/7 is not enough.
Sometimes, you need time out. Whether it is for yourself or for your friends.
The 'me' life 'me' time is actually very important.
The time spent to reflect about your surroundings and why you are in such a situation don't really count.
It is about simply lying in bed alone, listening to your favorite CDs, reading a good book. Thinking about yourself, or just, not thinking at all.
But I know. I am not you. I guess I do not really know. It may seem too much a luxury at this point and luxuries makes you feel guilty.

But it never did mean you as a bad friend.
Maybe you can do better, but so can many people about many many things.
Perhaps I was wrong; friends should not be judged by how much he/she is willing to sacrifice for. Or how much they are willing to do.

But you, my dearest, is someone I will run from Far East to Centerpoint (of course I will pant like siao and take very long).

Be strong.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you..... thank you so much.....=)

Anonymous said...

ger.. therez a nice bk out there worth reading.. men are from mars and women are from venus.. men tends to go into their own cave at times.. don force them to tok..