La familia

You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. Your family is what that makes you who you are.

Tell them things and they may think you expect them to do everything for them, solve all your problems. Don't tell them anything and they will say you are aloof.

When is too little and when is too much? What a fine line.

Anyway, I'm loving the get together with my aunt. Although we have never been really close because she has been away in Canada for as long as I can remember, but from all the aunts that I have (who are all very lovely ladies), I think she is the one aunt that I can relate to most. I think we are pretty similar - she plays music, teaches Literature, and most of all I share her "caught in the middle" situation being part of the traditional second generation Chinese family but yet in a different era, being Westernised yet at the same time very Chinese at heart.

Every family have their own dysfunctional side to it, and while I am not about ready to pour out the problem of my extended family, it's so refreshing to see it from my aunt's side of it. How many things I never knew, and perhaps never will understand.

Looking at the lovely close knit relationship my aunt share with my cousins, I wonder how it'd be like if I was brought up in this way. And I wonder if I can bring my children up like that, if I do have any.

No, this is not that I have any regrets. I believe my parents brought me and my siblings up in their best ability. And they have done a good job. We all turned out fine, none ever really been forced to do anything like too many extra activities like piano violin ballet tuition chinese lessons speech and drama etc etc. I never had to lie and give some random excuse if I'm going out to party. I may get asked rather casually when I don't go home, but at least I don't have to lie. I love the way even though they belong to another generation with their own beliefs and traditions, they understand how different it is for my generation and accepts it. As their kiddo, I too try to play my part by behaving the way they'd like me to be.

And my going away both brought me closer to them, as well as a better understanding of the situation.

On a slightly separate note, I am now in Calgary, listening to my little cousin practise her violin, sipping my cuppa tea, which I had to go buy because my aunt's family don't drink tea. I had such a hard time getting the most basic English Breakfast tea that I drink everyday in London. They have all the fanciest citrus, fruity, weird DECAFFED (hello? Decaf tea? Then drink tea for what?!) teas. In the end, I had to freaking buy Twinnings, which is the only normal EBT the whole supermarket had that is not decaffed. And, it says there on the box, Twinnings from England! It is imported from England! Bianggggggggg. At an outrageous price that is more than twice of that in London. More than 20cents per sachet okay!

TMD!!!

But I'm so addicted to tea I just had to get some. The addiction was so bad it was like I need tea let's look at the cupboard oh fcuk there is no tea how about this drawer no what only hot chocolate and coffee I don't want any of those I just want tea c'mon oh shit there is no tea okay I need to go buy some.

So I took a nice stroll. The weather was nice at 6 degrees because of some warm wind that sort of came for a visit. It isn't snowing now. There was a snow storm just weeks ago and now there are some residual snow left on the roads and parks. But not much.

When I arrived yesterday night, it was -10. Looks like Mother Nature is taking pity of my inability to survive in the cold. In Vancouver, I was literally shaking when walking on the streets, and my companion just laughed at me and pointed some girls who were wearing minis with boots and no stockings. I had to rebut with my teeth clattering that

iiiiii ammmm a troooopicalllll girll - can we pleasssee go baccck to the carrr and switch on theeee ass warmerrrr?

Mind you, I too was in my little denim skirt and little ballet shoes. I did wear stockings and leg warmers though. But still! It's not like I was wearing a lot either, right?