It's finally finally S-N-O-W-I-N-G

Coolness.

And I'm going to ski tomorrow. Watch out for more pictures.

Merry Xmas!

My very cute twin cousins. Look at the number of presents! (Mainly not mine though)


















My first Gingerbread House!

I met this boy today. He is cute. He took me to a tea house and we had some weird tea outside in the patio of the tea house at 0 degrees. My feet must have turned blue. But I didn't mind. His parents came to pick us up in a red truck with a cute dog that licked my face but I didn't mind. We had a fantastic Japanese dinner at a place own by a honkie. But it was great, and I didn't have to pay. We went into this music shop and his daddy introduced me to the world of guitars. Now I know what is what and why is what (but I'd probably forget after 2 days).

This is probably the last time I'd see this boy for a long long time, as he will leave for his travels and I'd continue with mine.

But you know what, I love Canadians. They are so cool. They stop when they see that I'm trying to cross the road and wave at me (even though I still look at the wrong side of the road). They are open to their multi racial society, much unlike the English (who, while opening up, is more accepting it in the bo bian sort of way).

Of course, I still love the UK. It's too pretty. Too interesting. But I'd be back in Canada with a vengence. Maybe next winter to work at a ski town. I'd need to find out about the visa first.

I've decided not to do my post grad for the time being.

After rationalising with myself, I decided I am not willing to give up the lifestyle I am currently having. To come and go free as a bird, only just doing some quick budgeting.

I've also decided when I go back to London next summer, I will spend more weekends on weekend trips while working instead of spending money on shopping or drinking.

Good to have a second chance to live it a different way. It was fun, no regrets, but once is enough. I have to try something different now.

I love Alberta beef.

I had the BEST steak I ever had in my entire life. Today.

It didn't come easy. It was first aged in a meat locker under ideal conditions for six weeks. Ideal conditions mean that the temperature is maintained constantly between 36 and 38 Fahrenheit, the humidity must be fairly low, and there must be a good air flow around all sides of the meat. That's why they call it "hanging" - they don't strangle the cow, but they do suspend the meat so that it is well exposed to the air.

I had a prime rib cut that was just sooooo perfect in taste. It is medium rare, the way I like it, tender, full of flavor, sooo juicy.

It looks just like this.



It's just like what Lawry's Prime Ribs offer. No, it's not pork. I didn't know before too.

Alberta beef? I salute you.

La familia

You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. Your family is what that makes you who you are.

Tell them things and they may think you expect them to do everything for them, solve all your problems. Don't tell them anything and they will say you are aloof.

When is too little and when is too much? What a fine line.

Anyway, I'm loving the get together with my aunt. Although we have never been really close because she has been away in Canada for as long as I can remember, but from all the aunts that I have (who are all very lovely ladies), I think she is the one aunt that I can relate to most. I think we are pretty similar - she plays music, teaches Literature, and most of all I share her "caught in the middle" situation being part of the traditional second generation Chinese family but yet in a different era, being Westernised yet at the same time very Chinese at heart.

Every family have their own dysfunctional side to it, and while I am not about ready to pour out the problem of my extended family, it's so refreshing to see it from my aunt's side of it. How many things I never knew, and perhaps never will understand.

Looking at the lovely close knit relationship my aunt share with my cousins, I wonder how it'd be like if I was brought up in this way. And I wonder if I can bring my children up like that, if I do have any.

No, this is not that I have any regrets. I believe my parents brought me and my siblings up in their best ability. And they have done a good job. We all turned out fine, none ever really been forced to do anything like too many extra activities like piano violin ballet tuition chinese lessons speech and drama etc etc. I never had to lie and give some random excuse if I'm going out to party. I may get asked rather casually when I don't go home, but at least I don't have to lie. I love the way even though they belong to another generation with their own beliefs and traditions, they understand how different it is for my generation and accepts it. As their kiddo, I too try to play my part by behaving the way they'd like me to be.

And my going away both brought me closer to them, as well as a better understanding of the situation.

On a slightly separate note, I am now in Calgary, listening to my little cousin practise her violin, sipping my cuppa tea, which I had to go buy because my aunt's family don't drink tea. I had such a hard time getting the most basic English Breakfast tea that I drink everyday in London. They have all the fanciest citrus, fruity, weird DECAFFED (hello? Decaf tea? Then drink tea for what?!) teas. In the end, I had to freaking buy Twinnings, which is the only normal EBT the whole supermarket had that is not decaffed. And, it says there on the box, Twinnings from England! It is imported from England! Bianggggggggg. At an outrageous price that is more than twice of that in London. More than 20cents per sachet okay!

TMD!!!

But I'm so addicted to tea I just had to get some. The addiction was so bad it was like I need tea let's look at the cupboard oh fcuk there is no tea how about this drawer no what only hot chocolate and coffee I don't want any of those I just want tea c'mon oh shit there is no tea okay I need to go buy some.

So I took a nice stroll. The weather was nice at 6 degrees because of some warm wind that sort of came for a visit. It isn't snowing now. There was a snow storm just weeks ago and now there are some residual snow left on the roads and parks. But not much.

When I arrived yesterday night, it was -10. Looks like Mother Nature is taking pity of my inability to survive in the cold. In Vancouver, I was literally shaking when walking on the streets, and my companion just laughed at me and pointed some girls who were wearing minis with boots and no stockings. I had to rebut with my teeth clattering that

iiiiii ammmm a troooopicalllll girll - can we pleasssee go baccck to the carrr and switch on theeee ass warmerrrr?

Mind you, I too was in my little denim skirt and little ballet shoes. I did wear stockings and leg warmers though. But still! It's not like I was wearing a lot either, right?

Beautiful British Columbia

Greetings from Vancouver!

I absolutely dig this city. It is so beautiful, the people are so nice, the people are so diverse. And it is ranked number ONE in the most liveable city in the world.

TOP TEN

Vancouver

Melbourne

Vienna

Geneva

Perth

Adelaide

Sydney

Zurich

Toronto

Calgary

Source: EIU

And you know what? I can totally see why. And I can almost live in this city man.

The biggest plus point about Vancouver is the fact that there are beaches you can go to in the summer, ski slopes you can go to in the winter, and lots of forest and hills to trek in any season. And you can see the Pacific Ocean too.

All packed within that few kilometres. Not to mention, how beautiful it is to see the mountains right behind the city. It's amazing.

Apart from that, it is clean. There is no chewing gum marks on the floor. It's safe. When I was in a bar and heading out to the patio for a break (no smoking in clubs too) and I took my bag along, my friend said oh c'mon you don't have to. This isn't London. People are so into healthy living - they ride bikes, run in the parks, everyone's into exercising and healthy eating too.

(Plus point: the Chinatown ROCKS - I'm eating beef brisket (I missed it SO MUCH) for only C$4.75.)

And there is such huge support for the Arts, for sports, for culture. And Chinatown. Oh the Chinatown absolutely rocks. After being deprived from overpriced Chinese food in the little Chinatown in London (which well, is not too bad by standards), I was just blown away man. The variety of goods they have is AMAZING. And they have real green veges!

I had the privillege of being chaufeurred around the city in a Land Rover by a hottie. How much better can your trip be?

Yes, I love my life. Truly.

I just broke my Barcelona shot glass.

*sobs*

Now I have to go back there to buy another one.

yay

I've done all my to-do list except going to the bank and changing my address, which isn't a big problem because I can always go back to my old flat to collect my post if I don't make it to the bank.

I shall pack my bags early and not be like Su Cui who forgot to bring her handphone charger and photos to show her mum.

Said my goodbyes to my London friends who made my life here such a wonderful one. Took them to a Korean restaurant. But they ended up ordering Japanese food, cos I guess that's what they are more familiar with. It's strange to know that they are all from Aussie-land (and NZ too). The ones that are close. The ones that matters most. I love you girls, although I didn't give you the link to my blog and you probably aren't reading this. See you next year!



"We're off to Button Moon
We'll follow Mr Spoon..."

My favourite kid tv programme. Was watching it on youtube very intently. Anyone of you loved it too?

Go youtube "button moon"

27 hours till leaving this house!

All Sorted

Yay! Finally my life as a traveller resumes.

I will be leaving London with a blast by going to Fabric on Friday night (lovingly known as FY's Farewell Friday) and party till I drop (which is about 6am), ice skating (AT AN OUTDOOR SKATING RINK!!) on Saturday, say bye to Cui who is going home to the Sunshine, Sand, Sea and Sambal Sotong on Sunday.

I am heading to Vancouver on Thursday for a few days before Calgary on Sunday, where I will spend 3 weeks or so. White Christmas and SKIING here I come! Then head to Chicago to visit my cousin and do some post Christmas shopping spree. Spend maybe a week there, then fly across the Atlantic back to Europe into Dublin to go visit Michele over the weekend, have a pint of Guiness, and perhaps after that to Aberdeen to stay with Leonard for a while before heading back to London to get prepared to go to Thailand, where my lovely sister will meet me to shop and eat like queens and princesses before heading home to Singapore for Chinese New Year.

This month of hibernation is definitely worth it. I don't care if you think I'm hao lian cos obviously I am.











This is the map of my travels. I can say as of 14th December 2006, I have officially gone round the world across the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean!

I CANNOT FCUKING WAIT MAN! The plane rides? Not very looking forward. But the experience? PRICELESS! (And for everything else there is MasterCard).

Mood: Very very the happy.

Bloody hell I agree!

Plus, it helps that my Johnny boy was the star of The Libertine too. So anything to be associated with him.

Yum.

P.S. He may not look much in this movie, but we all know we love Johnny, no matter what.
P.P.S. If you haven't watch it, you have to. It's a brilliant movie.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, `Do I dare?' and, `Do I dare?'
Time to turn back and descend the stair

MBA = BMW

Don't seem like a likely equation to you? Think again.

The thought of continuing my education is recently one of the things I've been pondering about. Should I go back to school?

In case you didn't know, my long term goal in life (a few years ago) is to do it all the way - basically completing the whole education system, and ultimately become an academic. In what field? Don't know. But it's a long term goal right? Don't have to be so specific.

So there. While having a Biz degree doesn't equate the fact that I should do an MBA, MBA is the most logical progression for clueless me. Also, the branding of MBA takes you so much further than say a Masters in Philosophy, or any other Social Science, unless I want to teach.

At first, I thought of doing the Law Conversion program where I can take a year in this program and then it will be just the same as any law degree. Maybe because I was dealing with solicitors, I thought the idea of Law is quite cool. After all even though I can't say I've always wanted to do law, but it could be an option. Except that this means I will need to go 1 year here, and then another year back in NUS just to practice in Singapore (if I want to practice in Singapore). So I'd be going through all the trouble just to get a Bachelor's degree equivalent, not very enticing.

To be honest I haven't done any research as to which uni is good, how much exactly, when to apply, what to do - because I want to do that only after I have convinced myself I want to do it now. And after some quick calculation, the amount of loan I'd be taking up will be anything between $70,000 to $120,000.

Which is why I said BMW.

Is education a worthy investment? I tried to think of it in different respects:

1. Financially rewarding?
Let's be honest. In this dog-eat-dog world, it's the experience that counts. Subjected to the industry. In the financial industry, your papers still count. Having a good Masters degree from a reputable university is the way to buy into any prestigious graduate programs. Sure, if you had a 1:1 in your Bachelor, you could have gotten in too. But let's face it, that is already past and I did not get anywhere near a 1:1 so I have to let it go.

But

Do I really want this sort of lifestyle (let's just assume that it is possible for now)? The struggle to climb up the ladder, the 60 70 80 hour weeks, the kiss goodbye to friends and families, social life? The stress, the pressure.... the MONEY?

I can't answer.

And unfortunately it is not like I will have a choice after I graduate. If I decide to embark on this MBA, I jolly well have to get a well paid job so that I can pay back my debts. A very rough estimate shows if I repay $1,500 a month, it takes about 5 years. Which brings me to my second hesitation:

2. Bye Bye Singapore?

Let's be realistic. What kind of f*cking job can I get that will allow me to repay $1,500 and still have enough to spend in Singapore? Which means, the prestigious graduate program I hope to get into will most likely not be in Singapore, unless I so bravely and so freaking (un)luckily get into the world of the i-wankers (otherwise known as Investment Bankers), which, in the first place, I seriously don't have much interest in, which means I probably wouldn't apply for, and second, it isn't like you want to get in means can get in one loh.

That means I will have to kiss Singapore goodbye for a good few years until I repay my loan, or accumulated enough experience to command a certain level of wage back in .SG

But then again, given how cars depreciate 20% the moment you start the engine, and people spend hundreds and thousands per month just to be able to own a car, and I am more than willing to not own a car for the next 5 years, does that mean I should do it?

What do you think? Drop a comment, or write me an email for more privacy.

Slumber party extended

My life thus far after my little trips has been revolving around a girl. I’ve practically moved into her apartment, and sleeps on her bed. We tell each other about our life story, talk about boys, decide what to wear the next day (in all seriousness), talk about existentialism, get stone, and eat a lot of rice together.

It’s strange how two years ago I simply assumed that I will not get along with her. Turns out she rocks. I love her. Talk about listening to only one side of the story.

It is almost exactly one month to Calgary and I can’t wait. I don’t exactly have clothes that I can wear at -15 degrees, and after consulting some experts they think if I layer 7 layers I could possibly survive. I wonder how can people look sexy there. Here, if you are brave enough, still can wear mini skirts and thick thick stockings lah. But -15, siao boh?

I did a quick calculation and realized that in the worst case scenario where I can’t get a job, I will just simply go to Dublin to visit Michele and Aberdeen to visit Leonard and enjoy myself, cos I actually still can afford it because I scrimped and saved (I love the Sterling Pound!) So I can actually don’t work at all! Woohoo! But I will try to look for a job lah.

Being very??(zi lian), I’ve decided to post up a picture of myself. My hair very long already hor?







Anyway, that’s Jason, clinging on very tight to me because we were at a Gay Bar and he was very scared he kana molested. Don’t see he look so happy in this picture, actually he very scared one! Kakaka. Eventually he still got his ass pinched. That was a bar where if me and Cui stripped naked, no one might even bat their eyelid.




And that is a collage I made when I was bored. :P

El Camino de Santiago

I met this guy in the hostel I stayed in Barcelona. He took out the Spain map to show me where he was heading after BCN.

I then noticed he traced out a route in the north of Spain with a pen. Something like this:



So I asked him, what is that?

He said, that's the El Camino de Santiago (the Route to St James). I walked!

I was like yeah right. But I went home and googled. Apparently I am just very suaku. There is such a thing. And not only is there such a thing, it is the most holy route of Christianity. And millions of people do it every year.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it took him 1 month to complete it.

And I have decided (or have very very seriously considered) doing it. Next year, in April or May, or after October. (Go in Summer die of heat stroke).

And I have persuaded Cui and Jason too! What a surprise. From that simi lan face he gave me 2 weeks ago, now he is saying he is seriously thinking about it. Woohoo!

It's one of those things in life, I feel, that I have to do and put a strikethrough it and said,

Yes. I've done the Camino.

Just like performing at the Esplanade.

Somehow, 2007 is looking good. It's hard to imagine anything better than 2006.

Okay lah, actually, can lah.

Shopping and Relationship

One of the random conversations I had recently was about how relationships are just like shopping.

Sometimes, when all you want is a pair of shoes, say a pair of black boots, but you end up buying something else that is really, really different. Like a dress.

Just like men. You end up getting someone you didn't set off on a lookout for.

Or it could be the right item. Except that the look is for the wrong occasion. Like you need a pretty black dress, and you find one, but it looks a little too fun for the ball you are attending.

Just like men. When you are on the lookout for someone serious, someone who is out to have some fun comes along.

And when you are out for a shopping trip, even with a target, like the pair of black boots, or the pretty black dress we mentioned earlier, you'd comb through the entire department store, or worse, the entire shopping centre, or worst, the entire Orchard Road before you are convinced that the very first one you set your eyes on is the most value for money and worth buying. What's worse, sekali when you go back to that store, the item is gone!

Also, we what looks good on the hanger, or the mannequin, may look better on the hanger, or the mannequin. Or another girl. Not everything is suitable for everyone. You need to choose something that will flatter your assets, and hide your flaws. And the same thing goes, something that may look blah on the hanger may be full of potential.

I can go on and on. But I shall stop. Alas! Finally, I can relate 2 things that I go weak all over together!

Not that it is the most pleasant relationship.

Philosophy makes me think too much. (It just suddenly dawn on me, why Sophie was call Sophie!) Following the intensive 3 nights’s marathon of reading Sophie’s World just because I really felt that it was time to finish the book, I fell into the great depression. I closed my eyes and questions kept ringing in my head. I couldn’t get on the internet, I went to the library and got picked on by the librarian, heard news I don’t want to hear, walked home and sat up in my bed, back against the 90 degrees of my bedroom wall, feet curled up, body wrapped underneath my duvet, and walloped in self pity for 2 hours, staring into space, and occasionally the four purple walls.

It was the dumbest reasons to get depressed. And I still don’t know if it was the cause of it all.

So then I accepted the invitation to go to Reading to visit a dear friend who is back in school. And there I attended my first Student Union party in England, slept in, played Final Fantasy XII on PS2 on the bed, watched DVDs, food cooked, dishes washed.

Nice. Reminded me of Shaun. Every girl who plays computer games needs a Shaun in their life to play computer games with. (But Shaun makes me wash up) When I told Shaun I found my Shaun in London, he said he will kill this guy so that he will be the only one in this world that can do that for me and so I will come back home. Isn’t it great to have friends who love you so much?

And yesterday night, I just busted this guy’s ego (which was so inflated he was floating around near the ceiling of the pub) big time. He was going on and on in that sleazy voice saying oh yeah baby you are so going to come home with me tonight.

Yeah right. So I played along and in the mids of his big speech as we walked out of the place I put my hands on his lips and said,

Look here mate, this is not going to happen. Nice meeting you.

And I just literally ran off and caught my night bus, feeling very happy with myself. Even though my dear friend left the pub without me (!!!!!), it made my day.

Another one of those things I can strike off

I've finally finally completed Sophie's World.

Strangely, it is making me feel a lot more than a book should.

Updates

Don't complain I never update lah. Here it is.

Barcelona was fantastic. Nothing significantly great or exciting happened, but it is actually one of my best trips ever. I never had such a good balance of everything in any of my trips, ie, I had the sun, the sand, the sea, the shops, the money, the tourist attractions, travelers, locals, parties, food, weed.

Being a typical tropical girl, sun is taken for granted. I was like shrieking (inside lah) OMG OMG SUN SUN SUN and then open my arms, lifted my head up and embraced it. I sat at the balcony of my host’s friend for like 2 or 3 hours on a comfortable armchair and people watched while being sun-kissed.

Oh and something quite amusing and potentially educating: to note my observation that the Mediterranean Sea is absolutely calm! It is SO CALM there are hardly any waves. And there are no tides!

Viva la shopping! Apart from the indispensable Zara, there are also some quaint little designers which are either too expensive or a little too weird. Also, another of those Zara/ Mango kind of shop includes one call Bershka, where I bought a pair of skinny denim jeans for just 25 Euros and also this shop that I really like call Stradivarius (after the musican!) where I bought a striped shirt dress, an ultra short black skirt and the cutest leggings. But hey I spent what I saved on the hostel mah!

After doing some research by reading the latest fashion magazine, the 70s is here to stay for autumn/winter 2006-2007, but not as glitzy, not as loud. Some gold, some glitters, some prints, lots of opaque leggings and tights. And if you have the legs, go with a shirt dress (like long tee) and wear black opaque tights with a pair of ballerina flats.

But having said that, it feels great to feel empowered again. It’s like us going to Malaysia – everything is cheap! Even though it’s not really. I remembered when I first came, I took my S$1k to the exchange and got a miserable 300q back. I almost cried.

And I still think it’s justifiable to say that it is absolutely necessary to look good in London. It’s frigging LONDON. How can you walk around looking like crap? Londoners look great, dress well. So I have to, too! (BLEH BLEH)

I stayed in the hostel for the first 2 nights and after that I moved out to one of the Couchsurfers’ place (www.couchsurfing.com). In essence it is a website just like friendster and myspace, less dodgy, more specific. It’s for people to surf for a place to stay when they are traveling, and in exchange, offer their homes (or couches) to others.

So I went to this gathering (how lucky was I that they had a gathering on the day I arrived) and met some locals, some travelers, some people working in BCN, some there to learn Spanish. And this guy offered his home to me, and I checked out of my hostel the next day (and hence saved 96 Euros, which went to my shopping budget – yeah!).

So, I had the authentic backpackers’ experience for the first 2 days, hanging out at the common area, met people my age, went to the tourist attractions, ate the typical Spanish food. Then I had a Spanish host, which was like a homestay really. He brought me to meet his friends, went clubbing at places the locals go to, had a BBQ at the balcony. And one of the days, I basically slept in, woke up, nuah at the couch, watch TV, and did shit the entire day. Damn shiok.

And since I'm back in London, I have been entertaining this guy from Singapore who really really came on a mission to club every single night. So basically I have been out everyday, not been home at all. And yesterday, I slept from about 2am to 1pm.

Anyway, since I am still jobless now, I decided I have to make full use of my time and do all the touristy thing that I have yet to do in London. Not even really touristy things, but going to the museums and art galleries (which are free!!), wonderful markets that sells those very vintage things at very low price, and comb through those charity shops (I just bought another copy of Sophie's World for 80p today!)

So far, it's still exciting and fun, except that my slight withdrawal symptoms are making me a little void of happiness. But I'd be fine soon.

What should I do tomorrow? Heheehehe. I love London! Forever got things to do one!

I have to admit. Sometimes when I blog, certain entries I write is deliberately written for an ego trip. The way people try to subtly boast about certain things, like shaking their wrist to show off their watches.

But this post, is not an ego trip.

On the plane back from Barcelona, I was feeling slightly miserable at the thought of coming back to London, which 1. is cold, dark and gloomy now, 2. I have no job (yet) 3. I have no one significant to return to - no boy, no family.

Then once the plane taxi-ed I whipped out my phone and texted the people I now call friends. I text them, they replied and plans were made for the week.

I get home, checked my email and find out people are missing me.

Today this wonderful smart girl who was his friend who I now call MY friend, said

I love you. You're so much fun. You really deserve much better than him Hui.

It warmed my heart. I genuinely appreciated that. It wasn't even like oh yeah baby feel-good-factor 100%! And coming from someone who was on his side, who shared his side of the story, it meant a lot to me.

And then this other girl said

Yes that is so true. People tell you you are great, and you know it, but I think you're not sure. But you are, and that is why everyone at work loves you, for who you are. And I can see why you are so picky when it comes to boys now. You deserve to be picky anyway.

You'd probably be reading this. I can't say I'm sorry for writing this, and even if I did, you'd say don't be sorry. It's about time we come to terms with it. I didn't deserve those last few months. You knew what you did. I knew what you did. Don't say you were trying to protect me. It's too convenient. And adds to the romantic dramatic effect.

I don't hate you. I'd always love you. Like you'd always love me. For just who you are. Still.

Something great still came out of it all. You as a catalyst for my departure. I still think I did the right thing by leaving. For someone who has never taken the plane alone, stepped right out of my comfort zone, travelled all the way here not knowing what things are going to like (and still don't know), I think I did pretty okay. I've now flown alone from to San Francisco and back, to Munich, from Frankfurt to Rome, Rome to London, London to Barcelona and back. I can live alone, eat alone, take the bus/ train/ plane alone, and I am honestly okay with it all. One year ago if one tells me this is what I will be doing next year, I'd probably just laugh it off.

But now, I'm making huge plans for my own life for myself. I will go to Canada, to USA, back to Singapore, and then back to London next summer.

Journey to self discovery? It begins.

¡Hola!

From Barcelona, Cataluña.

I´m having loads of fun here.

But, when my phone rings,

I realised something-

You are still in control.

I start to panic and forget what I was supposed to do and just go to the phone booth thingy to make the call,

after much rationalising with myself to not use my mobile to ring back.

Donch like it.

Gold

Thank you for coming home
I'm sorry that the chairs are all worn
I left them here
I could have sworn
These are my salad days
Slowly being eaten away
You just another play for today
Oh but I'm proud of you
But I'm proud of you
Nothing left to make me feel small
Luck has left me standing so tall
Gold, always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible
Always believe in
'Cause you're gold
Glad that you're bound to return
There's something I could have learned
You're indestructible
Always believe in
After the rush has gone
I hope you find a little more time
Remember we were partners in crime
It's only two years ago
The man with the suit and the pace
Knew that he was there on the case
Now he's in love with you
He's in love with you
My love is like a high prison wall
And you could leave me standing so tall
Gold, always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible
Always believe in
'Cause you're gold
Glad that you're bound to return
There's something I could have learned
You're indestructible
Always believe in (...sax solo...)
My love is like a high prison wall
And you could leave me standing so tall
Gold, always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible
Always believe in
'Cause you're gold
Glad that you're bound to return
There's something I could have learned
You're indestructible
Always believe in
You are gold

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I just did a massive spring clean of my room, by effy's standard.

I vacuumed the floor. And i put everything where it should be.

I moved my air mattress elsewhere so that I can put my



Against the wall and do my Yoga poses.

All thanks to the lovely Ping, who got me not just that, but a Tiffany & Co cufflink & TAM TAM! And it's all specially delivered from Singapore!

Which is why I say, who needs Diamonds if they have Ping as their best friend?

Supposed to be sleeping but I figured, since I am jobless, might as well stay up right?

Sunday TV is actually pretty decent. I watched Dirty Dancing, some make me a supermodel reality tv, S.W.A.T (Colin Farrell - yum), and then CSI.

Now that I am a thief stealing network from the neighbours, I don't really sleep early anymore. There is always something to do someone to talk to on MSN. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that for the past 4 months I did not discover the free wireless.

Anyway, I efficiently planned out my trip and striked out a few to-dos today. Managed to buy a pair of boots which is flat, therefore easy walking. Not good quality leather ones I already own, it's a pair which I think I'd throw out after next year.

But for 10 pounds, it's nothing lah.

The only reason why I want to sleep early is because I want to go buy this bag from one of the charity shop for 3 pounds. I actually had NO MONEY with me and I was at the shop when they were closing and they refused to wait for me to run across the road to draw money. So I must try to chiong there in the morning in hope that no one bought it yet. It's a nice white River Island bag that is falling apart. But it looks damn vintage and I want a white bag like that to carry to Barcelona. It matches the clothes I'm bringing there.

How bimbotic. That's Hui.

Yeah!

I finally can do this!



It is quite a feat. I had to huff and puff and train my arms and shoulders up.

Known as the Scorpion, or otherwise, Vrschikasana

Anyway, Barcelona here I come!

Had one of my many first - drunk grocery shopping.

Okay I wasn't exactly drunk. I felt a little tipsy after 4 Smirnoff Ice. Which I shouldn't have had. But I had to meet this friend of mine to borrow an obi (I'm going as a Geisha on Friday's end of season party!) from his mum (a cute half Jap half Irish). And where else can we meet but a pub?

So after 4 drinks, I looked at the time and realised it was only 9.40pm, that I could quickly run into Tesco (which closes at 10) since I don't have any food at home (Which actually isn't true - I just ran out of meat, but why would I need meat in the middle of the night?)

So anyway I walked in and walked out in 10 minutes. But in the end, my purchases were

1. Swedish meatballs (Why the hell did I buy swedish meatballs)
2. A pint of milk
3. Minced pork
4. Beansprouts

What was I thinking about???

And then I got home, cooked a tipsy meal of Soup with spinach, cabbage, beansprout and mincemeat in Knorr Seafood soup packet with an egg; slurped it down and fell asleep 10 minutes after, with my TV, light and makeup on.

effy, you never learn.

I feel like it is a necessity to pay some tribute to the important people in my life, halfway round the globe, 8 time zones away (+1 daylight saving hour = 7 time zone at the moment), who relentlessly put up with my must-try-to-talk-for-one-hour-more-worth-it rants about my life, going non stop and most of the time boring and/or confusing. Yes, you.

I’m sorry I don’t do emails anymore. I really hardly have time for it.

Anyway, don’t think your effort is going unnoticed. I love you for that, for always being ready to talk to me, asleep or awake, boyfriend or no boyfriend. And if you are always ready to hear me out, I’m always here for you. Just a text message and your phone will be ringing. You don’t even need to call me.

I don’t suppose this is trying too hard to stay connected to home. Too hard is too harsh, in it?

Anyway, I love you I love you I love you for that.

And to finish off this warm and fuzzy entry, here is some light hearted tales from the new friends I’ve made so far:

Asians? Oriental?

See the last time I recall, Singapore IS part of South East Asia. Besides calling ourselves Singaporeans or Chinese, we can also call ourselves Asians. But here, Asian is generally reserved for people from the Middle East and maybe from India. Well, mainly (pardon me for not being exactly very politically correct) the darker ones. Chinese, Japanese and perhaps Koreans (who I have started to detest because they are really annoying) are more affectionally known as Orientals.

Pants? Trousers?

Basically, pants IS underpants. Underwear. Knickers. Panties. Anything that covers your legs, no matter what material it is made of, ranging from corduroy to denim to leather to nylon to latex, it is trousers. It also doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman or in between.

Tights? Stockings? Leggings?

Singaporean understanding of stockings are well, stockings. Here, they call it tights. What we think are tights (like bicycle tights) are known as leggings.

The banning of the chewing gum

Nobody seem to understand why chewing gum is banned. Whilst I tend to agree that it does indeed sound like the stupidest thing on Earth to ban (and it seems like we are the only country in the world who does that), I look at the walkways of the streets of London with all the chewing gum stuck and turned black like failed patterns on the ground on what should have been beautiful stone pavements, I convince myself that there is some truth in the ban (nodding my head silently at the excellence of our government, spitting the gum on the pavement, leaving my permanent mark on the street).

Crime rate is zero in Singapore

Some ridiculous bloke asked me if it is true, that there are no crimes at all in Singapore? Then, rumours has it that people who are so so restrained from these laws kind of exploded with rage and formed gangs who chop people up into pieces (which must then mean, that it cannot be zero crime rate, right?)

Capital punishment and drugs

The death penalty is such a debatable topic. Some wished England (and Ireland) has such laws, some couldn’t believe at this day and age there is still the death penalty. And when I mentioned how if you traffic drugs it’s the death penalty, they just shook their heads with a mixed look of surprise and disgust.

My comments? I think having such strict controls may be stifling, and fact is if you have never been through experience, you wouldn’t know what innocence is. Perhaps you can say if you have never lived in a country where freedom of speech is so highly regarded that they do not ID the people who lives in this country (there is no such thing as an ID card, or IC in our local context, apart from driving licenses), where binge drinking is number one in Europe, where drugs are almost legal, you probably wouldn’t think of what you have had your whole life is stifling. When there is nothing to be compared with, you wouldn’t know. Which also means don’t know anything about the world at all.

I have met people who started taking drugs at 15, sold them illegally to make money to take more drugs, got busted by parents who raid their rooms and found packs of Es, and that makes me wonder if this is the kind of lifestyle you want your kids to grow up in. Not that these people I’m talking about are now scums of the society who lives on benefits – they managed to get a decent Bachelor and some are onto their Masters and earning at least thirty thousand a year – and if I may say, contributing quite a bit of tax to the scums of the society – although still drinking and getting drunk every other day of the week.

And at the end of the day, you still get doctors and lawyers and engineers and architects and policemen and firefighters from this crazy city. The society does work (even though their food sucks). The square mile I am working in is still the richest square mile in the entire world; London is still a place many people want to live and work and visit.

So there, welcome to England.

Ping

effy misses you too. don't smoke so much lah

Moments of reflection

10th of June was the day I arrived in London. It is now some 3 months since I’m here and it only seems the right thing to have a moment of reflection of some sort.

So it all started with staying at my cousin’s place. Having a relative to look out for must be the biggest pain on Earth. Except that I was the pain. I must have caused him so much trouble I feel bad. I can even imagine him complaining to his mother my auntie (here they say auntie too, not aunt, like the Yankees) about it but blood is thicker than water. One day I will tell him how sorry I am.

Then there was this other Singaporean who was a friend’s friend who I waited for to find a place to live together. Turned out she back out last minute and is the main cause of why I am staying where I am. But I guess it is a blessing in disguise because we wouldn’t have been the best of friends anywhere – we probably wouldn’t get along that well, especially the staggering home on Fridays wouldn’t go so well with her. Besides, I love the privacy of having my own room now and wouldn’t give it up for anything.

The bulk of my life so far is work and I know I have said this a million times but I really really think that I have been so fortunate to land in a job like this. Perhaps this is just how all offices in Central London are like, but I doubt every office brings 30 twenty-something smart and fun people together at the same time. Just last Saturday when I was out with my mates having what I think has been the best night so far since I’ve been here in London, (I don’t even want to call them colleagues because they are so much more than that), we were ranting about how fantastic it has been. More often than not you’re lucky to get 1 good friend at work – but here I can name at least 10 people I really love, people I wish I lived with, people I will stay in touch with and go out frequently after we leave this job, people I will go visit at their home countries, (mainly Aussies and Kiwis if they are not English) people to bitch and gossip with, people to bitch and gossip about, people who I am more than happy to throw my hugs around, for these people are my family away from home, people who have seen me drunk and silly and love me for that, people who goes as drunk and act as silly as I am and I love them for that, people who loves me as a little China doll and thinks I am so small I needs to be taken care of all the time and always, always on the lookout for me, people who knows exactly what I am going through right now, who are as stressed and as busy and as no life as I am because of the workload, people who can go out at 8pm to get a pint of beer after seeing each other for 11 hours just to rant about work. It’s incredible how much I have grown to love them – and yet retain a certain level of detachment at the same time.

I’ve also came up with a sort of vague plan for the rest of the months. I reckon I will soon get bored of London especially with the fact that my next job will be nowhere as fun as the one I am having now, and the fact that the harsh infamous weather is coming – sun now no longer sets at 9pm but starts to get dark at about 7pm. Soon it will be about 4pm. It’d be too cold to get around and depressing – I can anticipate that. So I decided I’d probably go to Canada to look for my other family and be a pain again for Christmas and New Year, then perhaps head to California again if I find it too cold and stay there for a while if I like it (this colleague of mine stayed in Hollywood for 11 months and loved it – so I might go check it out and see if I’d like it too), come home at some point before May for a visit, then head back to London for the next season at the same place I’m working, doing a big one or two month Europe trip in May-June or something if I have sufficient funds at that point, or else, do it in October after the season ends. But I’m definitely going to come back to Europe. I have not yet seen it at all, and it is quite stupid of me not to I know, and go transatlantic but then again, I’ve considered this hard and long and I sort of think that this is the best plan yet.

And maybe, I may bring one or more inspired souls along from Singapore with me next year. Who knows?

I am sorry I have not been updating. I actually wrote a draft out but it's in my thumb drive and I keep forgetting to bring it along to work.

Anyway, At this moment, at 6.55pm and still a lot of work to do, and hungry like siao, I just want to have beef noodle soup. Not noodle, but tang hoon.

The gu bah mee from BKK.

I'm going to go home and try to remake the magic. Apparently the raw beef are from eye of steak cut. TMD ex, but in thin slices, so maybe I'd try to buy 1 piece of steak and eat it for the next 3 days.

The highlight of next week is....

The Phantom of the Opera

I am so sure it will be worth all of my £35, even though I am more than happy to pay more and sit at the stall but my colleagues don't want to. I'm sure I will watch it in the front few rows at least once in my life - at nowhere else but THE BROADWAY.

I am so going to cry when I watch it. My dream is coming true! Phantom at West end!

TUESDAY!

Life as of now

I know I owe you a real update of my life. Not just silly things like saying I want to get a boob job, or that I have been drinking excessively (I have); but true honest to goodness how has life been for you sort of update.

And why did I decide to, on a Wednesday morning at 1am to write a VERY lengthy entry (it’s drafted at home on my laptop because I am always too busy at work to write a good update)?
3 words – The Vegemite Tales

My first theatre in London. Tonight. This following abstract is from the programme of the play:

"It’s a pretty frightening thing to pack up your home, say ‘See you in two year!’ to your family, hop on a plane and find yourself at Heathrow Airport. I was lucky enough during my four and a half years in London to find the most fantastic makeshift family of friends to travel, write, put on plays, fight, love and grow with…

… The play is also a salute to London – the most magnificent, exciting, diverse and alive city I’ve ever had the luck to live in. in London, every opportunity is before you…"

It was too close to home. It’s really playing out what my life could be, would be in the next few months. Despite being such an awesome play and crackingly funny to bits, it was so intimate and emotion wrecking that I felt that sick feeling the actor felt when he took the last look at the flat he stayed for seven years before returning home for good. Friends I will meet and part, not knowing when we will ever meet again; places I will live and party; things I will do and experience – to laugh to cry to hug to kiss to fall in love to fall out of love to scream at the top of my lungs to wave my arms wildly to dance like no one is watching to sing and jump about in the rain. To wear my black boots and coat with hands in my pocket and stroll down the stone pavement, heels clicking, breeze chilling and numbing my face, with that faint smile in disbelief at what I am doing now at this moment in my life. What will happen to me when I realize – it’s time to go home.

But maybe, when that day comes, when I know I am ready, it will be different. I can’t say much. It’s only been three months.

So my life update. Yes. What have I been up to?

Things I have done:

Earned my pounds – while I am nowhere near being able to live like a queen, a princess, a duchess or any other royalty down the chain, I am able to go to the supermarket, pick up whatever I feel like eating and not have to do a double take on checking out the price of the house brands or rush for the lowest, cheapest priced ones. I also can, but have yet to do much of, go to any decent bar or pub or restaurant or café and sit down and order what I would like to eat without feeling sick for spending the money. In general, I do not have to scrimp and save as badly as an exchange student on a tight budget would. And I am very happy about it. I work my ass off at a company that will add value to my CV, with colleagues that make my day more interesting, and a job nature that actually interest me and makes me feel important.

Worked my body – paying four teners a month is quite a big thing. After all, I wouldn’t have expected a monthly gym membership to be S$123 a month. But I still joined it, and have been going faithfully for a minimum of 3 times a week and fallen in love with yoga. I feel good. Oh and I walk to and from work almost all the time. It’s a 40 minutes walk.

Blended in well enough – by my own standard, with my colleagues and everyone else I’ve met. I’ve apparently amazed people by how well I sort of fitted in as compared to the typecasted shy Asian that backs away or just somehow don’t catch on with the banter but someone who joins in the fun and thank God not very off when it comes to cracking a joke. They, the English with their ‘humour’, think I am actually funny (at times).

Kept in touch – I actually think my relationship with my family (my dad in particular) improved tremendously because being away means you do not get on each others’ nerves and in fact appreciate the little communication you have with each other. We write each other emails everyday and I think I know more about his life and vice versa now than before. I even told him I have broken up with the boy (well I should have before I left but at least I bother to tell him now!). And everytime I call them up I get really excited and feel very happy after I hang up. Moderation is probably the key.

What I should NOT have done:

This is kinda tough to say though. While I can say yes I wish I didn’t, but my personal counter argument would be that everything happened for a reason and contribute to the whole experience and learning curve. But here are some-

Drinking excessively – while I have done that before, and as Ping says, I always get drinking jobs – it is happening too much too quickly here. When high on alcohol I get silly. Good parts are I am a good source of entertainment and I don’t mind – it is really fun. But I also get emotionally charged and start to cry over the dumbest things at times. And call people up long distance. And the time difference means I call people up at 7am expecting them to be at my beck and call. That is irritating. I’m sorry.

Get involved with work gossip – maybe it’s inevitable, but not really still. But it had happened, and I wish it hadn’t. Simply put, it complicates things.

Get emotionally involved with people far away – never a good idea when you are all alone in a big city for the first time in your life.

What I wish I did, or hope to do:

Stayed somewhere else – to be honest, my house is a dump. First of all, it’s an ex council flat which is about 50 year old (old buildings are fine but these are dump places that were build for the poor Eastenders, imagine an unupgraded unkempted 50 year old blocks of flats will be like), most likely have rats because it freaking stinks at times (LIKE NOW), and is going to be demolished in a few months time. I rather have a double bed because I am used to it at home and for more reasons than that. Then, my flatmates are nice but they are boring. The sort of people who gets mad and leave stupid notes in the toilet and kitchen to get people to clean up. I wish they were people like my colleagues or people in the play – good fun, good laugh, more tolerant to nonsense, drink more booze, bring people home, fool around. But they just live in London, hate London and just wanna do their stuff and get the hell out. They’d probably freak out (but not saying anything to your face but talk about you behind your back) if I bring boys home. Lastly, while this is a fantastic location being very much central, as I mentioned earlier, the fact that I can take a 40 minute walk to work, and it has buses and night buses that goes everywhere I want to go and tube station and rail station a stone throw away, but it’s South London (hence not exactly a great area and if I may put it bluntly, at the beginning of where the blacks stays). So I’m at the start of it and then as it goes further out it gets worse. I feel kinda frighten going home late at night although nothing bad has happened to me before except the usual cat calling. But I am paying peanuts (actually, macadamia nuts cos it’s not exactly cheap) so I can’t exactly complain. Since I plan to go away from UK for a bit, I’d probably do a house hunt again when I’m back.

Travel around UK – nearby places like Oxford, Cambridge, Bath, another trip to Stratford Upon Avon should have been done in the summer when the weather was good. Now it’s beginning to get cold and annoying. Then again, since I might be staying for the next summer, it’s not a pressing issue.

Go to Calgary for Xmas – it is quite likely to come true. I’ve got family there and I want to have a real white Xmas and not a 1cm thick layer of snow in London (if it snows at all) but real family, real turkey, (maybe) real Xmas tree and real snow.

Go back to CA – just for a trip. Say hi to Uncle Sam, do a bit of Los Angeles and maybe just work dumb dumb jobs for a bit to survive. America still has its appeal, although I really really want to go to New York as well.

To be honest I regretted buying a one year return ticket. I am not sure if I will be ready to go home. It’s silly I’m saying this now just 3 months into my 1 year. And of course, arguably I can always go home for a visit and then come back, but honestly I am so scared it might change my perspective of things again when I am home. Because for now, what is really cool about my life is that I feel like I have put everything at home on hold – my life, my mates, my family, my career – it’s great to know that as a girl (or a doll), it’s not that bad. But if I go home to ‘reality’, I may just get right back onto the rat race and go hey you have to start planning your life. And at this moment, I really don’t want to. I still think I have a few years to spare. Surely my youth will run out – but I really think 23 is a great age to be out. Because I am not a silly 20 year old who thinks I am an adult and thinks that I think like an adult. I am going 24, still silly, but quite sure I am an adult and genuinely believe that I can think like an adult when I need to. Besides, there is no guarantee that just because I am back at home, I will be able to carve out a fantastic career path and know where I will be in 5, 10 years. I am earning (but spending) much more than I can ever make for the next 3 years if I am at home, so I don’t exactly see that big a problem.
And maybe, at some point in this entry I am thinking like a silly 20 year old who thinks that the possibility of meeting a bloke that I would like to marry, have beautiful half Asian kids, a house with a lawn in the suburbs out of London is there. But I am not hanging my hopes up high, nor actively posting such a request on the internet.

Someone said to me, you know, I think you will never be ready to go home. You are not going to able to settle back into tiny Singapore anymore.

I shrugged. 3 months is a little too early to tell. But if that is going to happen, then it will. It’s just life, isn’t it.

But just like at one point in the play where one of the actress broke down in tears and cried when the going was tough,

"I just want to go home. I want my mum…"

It kinda hit me that there is no place like home where everyone is. I mean, the bed is more comfortable, the roads are more familiar, the food taste better. Everyone you know your whole entire life is a stone throw a phone call a prata shop away. That is good to know.

But in the meantime, being a call an email away have to suffice.

Missing everyone so much. Try to visit me if you can. London is fantastic, I vouch my life on it.

My Weekend

I did exactly the same thing as I did last week - go to Yoga, shopped, cooked and fell asleep watching tv on Sunday.

I fancy buying a yoga mat as I am really quite getting into it. And did I mention I can do a headstand (thanks to our breakdancing training in NTU). I am aiming to do it without the wall soon. I can feel my neck muscle growing (and i'm not trying to be funny).

Apart from that, it's the usual getting drunk and being silly on Friday.

But I actually feel quite bad though. Like there are so many things I want to do and I can list out 3 Ms - Musicals, Markets and Museums; but I always end up having a quiet weekend doing nothing.

Well, not that the weather is helping. The depressing rainy London is here. Except that it's August and shouldn't be the case.

Next week then!

Live and let live

Drinking in abundance seems to be part of every job I take on. I just think it's kinda dumb how I work my ass off at gym then pump down all the calories 3 times a week down to kill my liver.
But I still do it.
I felt so awful on Sunday that I really had to stay home, go to gym for Yoga, cook a nice meal for myself and watch tv and fall asleep. I got home at 3am on Wednesday, 3am on Friday and 5am on Saturday.
This week - no more. Ok, only one day - Friday.

In the world of tall blokes and dolls where image (and height) is important, I have gone ahead and bought a pair of killer heels, otherwise known as

The Stilettos



for my little broker party today. I just can't go in my almost flat pumps that looks like it is about to fall apart. In fact, it will be thrown away soon.

Now I just to stand tall but look way ahead for any potential little pot holes that I can die from if I fall. And maybe make sure I don't drink too much as a stumble will be damaging to my image and life.

I feel like getting a boob job.

the day effy bought her fan

yesterday . too hot . reached home at 7 . stormed out of house . walked down the street . all shops closed . walked on and on . found a pound shop . walked in and demanded a fan . sold out (FANS SOLD OUT?) . walked on . found another shop still open (closing soon actually) . walked in and demanded a fan . only had a huge standing one . bought it without hesitation . walked home . people stared . got home . took half hour to screw the stupid bottom bit on . but finally . it all paid off

effy slept like a baby

Wednesday 19 July

WEATHER WARNING
Heatwave conditions will continue to affect many parts of England and Wales today, with temperatures peaking on Wednesday.

Gees, it's 34 degrees today. And everyone here is just absolutely elated and baking in the sun at lunch, lying around on the grass in the park.

So in London do as the Londoners (though most are not) do, I had to join them. Together with my daily walks to and from work, I am now once again a bronze goddess. It's like being back to Thailand days. I wear my spags to work everyday now and leave my suit in the office just so I don't get the ugly tannlines.

I spend at least like 2 hours baked in the sun every single day. I just bought sunscreen yesterday. Freaking expensive by the way, but I had to save my skin from being old and wrinkled. And in anticipation of my bronze color, I colored my hair brown. DIY. I actually did it by myself in front of the mirror 2 days ago.

The worst part of this heat? I have NO air conditioning to run home to. Not even a fan. You know how miserable I am at night? And when I open my windows wide open to let the breeze in (the night breeze is bearable, the change in temp is a bit more drastic than in Singapore), stupid little mossies come bite me.

I am so tempted to sleep nude. Seriously. Okay maybe in my little undies.

I don't know. I don't think I can do it.

I just cannot know. I don't really want to know.

No

I really don't want to know.

it screams and no one can hear it but you. it screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. it thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. that's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. but that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. it's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

You have no idea. No fucking idea.

I changed my mind. I think cooking is pretty fun.

I made green curry yesterday night for my team lunch today. It isn't even that difficult, just the deboning of chicken and cutting them into small pieces that took a while.

And everyone thought it was great. Lots of envy eyes.

I decided I shall attempt to cook something from scratch at least once a week.

I'm sick and tired of sandwiches.

Afterall, I am not an ang moh.

The Finals

It was good fun to watch the match in 'neutral' ground where there were both Italian and French fans. The atmosphere is really crazy - people were just chanting and singing their national anthem. And when zeezoo did the headbutt, the French cheered like mad, and the Italians cheered like mad at the same for the red card. So everyone was cheering at the headbutting.

It was so silly.

But it's fun to be with my colleagues and we were like 3 crazy chickens jumping up and down on the sofa (cos everyone was standing up and I couldn't see so I stood on the chair) during the penalties. People were just kissing each other - random people. But I didn't (un)fortunately because I was standing so high up.

And everyone went crazier after the match. People were dancing in the buses, people stood up in their cars and flew their flags, people honked and honked, people danced in the streets. I regretted not heading down to Little Italy - I would have been able to take some really crazy photos. But there were quite a few in the London papers today.

And there was a murder at the tube on Friday. Some 20 year old guy just pushed this 50something year old man down the track when the train was approaching. I don't even know if he knew the guy or not. Investigations are still undergoing - but it just sends chills down my spine at how easier you can die and how absolutely awful the way of dying.

london bombing

There was a 2 minute moment of silence in the office today at 12 noon. I saw people putting flowers at the tube station, people tearing, remembering their losses.

I was quite surprised no one emailed me anything about being extra careful. Guess everyone forgot the 7/7 issue.

But yeah I'm not really freaked out. I'm sure London is on high alert. It should be quite safe.
In any case, there is nothing I can do about it. I had to take the same bus I do everyday to work, go for my drinks as I do on every Friday but tonight, I think I will be going home early and watch 10 things I hate about you on tv at 11pm.

I am absolutely exhausted from going out every single night. Even my flatmate asked what time I come home everyday. I am tired of tip toeing home every night and fall asleep with my work clothes one and waking up at 3am to wash up.

im starting to develop

something that is somewhat like a brit accent on the phone.

only because any other way they don't seem to be able to understand me.

but i promise if you call, i wouldn't speak like that.

i'm eating kit kats everyday

Leh. How? It's so damn yummy.

Send me a free SMS! It can be boliao things like you miss me. But rem to write your name cos it wouldn't show!

My no. is +447876110976.

depending on circumstances

This may be my last post for a while. I found out that my new flat has internet, just that it's between this 2 girls sharing and it's not wireless. So I will suggest to her if I get the wireless router, maybe we can share the internet. In that case, I might still be able to come online.

If not, then let's hope my company did not block out blogger. If they do, then you just have to email me.

P.S. I'm so pissed Brazil lost.

Anyways, I wore my England jersey out today and went to watch at not one, but two English pubs. Cos I wanted to see how different it might be. Turned out it's all the same - Brits screaming cmon England and clapping and cheering and cursing and swearing. But it was good fun really, except when they lost.

I brought my cammie out but in all excitement I forgot to take it out to take pictures of the scene. Besides I was more interested in the post win celebration to take pictures but there was none. So shrugs.

Today, I suffered such a double whammy. Both teams I like lost. Luckily there was a great (free!) dinner I enjoyed.

Now I am all for Italy. But I have this feeling Germany will go through.

housing bluez

tmd. the girl that was supposed to share room with me gave me the erm erm thing now. and i am going to be evicted this weekend.

tmd.

so now how? all the houses i have been looking at and looking for are all double rooms.

tmd.

so pissed. i'm sure in the end something will work out and i will find a fantastic room with nice roommate and nice house (hopefully) but now i just have to be pissed.

i have 2 freaking days to find the perfect home. and don't have money to pay for deposit. i dunno how man. but i'd sort it out.

growing fat

I think I'd start to grow fat. After the (lack of effort) losing weight. Which I don't think it was a lot anyway. Now that I started working, I take the bus everywhere. I no longer walk cos I'm in my heels. I also discovered the wonders of Chocolate moouse from Tesco. It's yummy, rich creamy chocolate that is so smooth and melts in your mouth. And it's only 69p for a pack of 6 (very small ones - which is good cos one a day ain't all that bad).

And cos now I have so much exams to study for, I need comfort food. And i find it in Kit kat.

happy monthsary

Of leaving SG. It will say 3am on my post but it's still 8pm which is still 27th which was the day I left Singapore.

It has been the most exciting month of my life (actually I can't really say if it was really better than that month of backpacking 2 years ago) but I guess I've never been to so many places in so little time and did so many things.

I went to

Thailand to shop
Munich to visit Alvin
Frankfurt to visit Dominik
Rome to visit xxx
in 2 weeks, and

London to find a job
Liverpool to see the stadium
Stratford upon Avon to watch Shakespeare
London and found a job

all in 30 days. And I should be moving out to a new place over the weekend. So exciting.

But now I have to focus on my test after test. Failing will lead to being boot out of the job and for obvious reasons I really want the job.

But the training manual is as thick as any textbook we used in Uni. SIGH. Back to school.

So study I have to now. Ciao.

The italian penalty

Oh Aussies I feel so unjust for you. You put on a good fight, and had so much ball possession. You tried so hard, and the penalty wasn't even really justified.

But alas that is the beauty of the game. Human flaws because humans are flawed.

Oh Totti oh Totti, if you appear in my face, look at me with that intense passion you had in your eyes before you kicked the ball, I will just melt into a puddle of melted gelato. Or just float right up into the sky.

Watching it in a pub with my multi national colleagues wasn't so good an idea. When the scored I screamed out loud in joy and the Aussies just had the saddest most disappointed look in their face Even the English mates felt sorry for them. I felt guilty feeling happy about their loss.

But c'mon man. How can Italy not make it to the quarters? Let alone be knocked out by the Socceroos?

Impossible lah.

I love the World Cup. It makes my loneliness less obvious because I can just spend hours watching it. And before long you realise oh its 10. Wash clothes, iron clothes, shower, pack, make sandwich for lunch, write journal, study for test or go online and it's time for bed.

P.S. It's probably old news, but don't you realise you get treated better when you are nicely dressed in a suit? TMD STUPID SUPERFICIAL HUMANS! (but this is such a great excuse to dress up and look great)

At one point tonight (now, actually) I got so pissed off staring at the green white and red flag showing when I click CALL on skype that I really thought this is it. I had enough. Either he comes to the UK, or I will get another fucking freckled Brit-ish man.

And I waited till 1.32am to call. But the Vodafone woman told me in Italian that the subscriber you're calling cannot be reached. KNNBCCB.

TMD. I fucking had such an fucking awful day, and I am here willing to fucking pay the 50 cents per minute to whine and I fucking cannot get through.

KNNBCCB

I cannot decide between being an underwriter or an AE.

I realise how sucky the time difference is. When I wake up in the mornings, I barely have time to be online. And that is 2pm at home. No one's really online. By the time I get home and log on, it's 3am and no one is online again. I try to call people and they are asleep. And I do miss you. If only we could chat.

The only other call I can make is to Italy, though after these 3 months of struggle I am still struggling to wiggle myself out of the situation, especially now because of the extremely expensive IDD calls despite the geographical location.

Anyway my life is starting to settle down a bit. I just need my "permanent" home and I'm all settled. I love my first day at work. It's quite intensive with too much information thrown at me, but I like the idea how they EXPECT you to be intelligent. And I am working with a bunch of smart ass people. I've never really been in a company like that. I mean no offence really, but it's different when it's with a bunch of energetic twentysomething graduates plus some seniors who are even smarter. And the work in intense, but I will learn quite a lot from it. And pocket quite a reasonable amount of money, and add proudly to my CV that I worked for the largest financial institution in London.

And the fact that I can wear my very corporate looking clothes (without sweating like a pig), strut down the Central London CBD area where a lot more people are in suits and feel important. As it gets colder I will take my trench coat and boots out. Did I also mention I bought a leather jacket.

I am truly happy and have not regret for one second my decision to do this. I do miss home, but this is truly remarkable. And it's crazy to see how many people do this (Aussies, Kiwis, Americans) but Singaporeans don't. I cannot speak how much I am benefitting from this because this is all just starting, but I am so proud (and I cannot help but be haolian about it I'm sorry) that I am doing this and everything is going on well. I'm happy. And I know that you are happy for me too.

Weather: Chilly at about 17 degrees

Sorry for the lack of updates

But I've been writing plenty emails to you guys. So, any unfortunate souls unfortunately forgotten who wants to be added into my mailing list, give me a buzz. You know how to get me. If you don't, then you don't deserve to be added into my mailing list do you?

Short and sweet for the sake of the forsakens:

27th May - Cry cry bye bye at the airport. Made my way to the land of smiles.
28th May - Ate like a pig in Bangkok. Ate all the asian food in the world I could think of.
29th May - No cry bye bye at the Bangkok airport. Made my way to the land of sausages and beer. (Funny the connection. A Thai asked a German if they have water in Germany, since the phrase "Germans drink beer like water.")
Thais and their poor English. :p (Don't beat me)
30th May - Munich with Alvin, my new found friend who kindly slept on the floor and gave me his bed.
31st May - Still in Munich
1st June - Munich. Nyphemburg castle.
2nd June - 2 hours from Munich at a fancy castle with name almost unspellable. If spellable, unpronouncable. Try then you smart ass. Neuschwanstein.
3rd June - Munich - Frankfurt. Met Dominic, my German friend I met from Bangkok when I was on exchange in 2004. Stayed at his very pretty house.
4th June - Played tourist. Driven around. Shiok. Played bowling with other exchange students from European Business School. Kinda odd but it was fun.
5th June - Mainz to Rome on Ryanair, budget airline. Reached at night, stayed at a hotel that cost 100 Euros per night. And it's not even that nice. Lucky I didn't have to pay.
6th June - Met Jing Zhong at Vatican City with his friends.
7th June - Ate more gelato
8th June - Pretended to be part of a Korean tour group with all the aunties and kids and just blended in with them and thus cut queue to get into the Vatican museum. The queue was at least 600m long (I am so not kidding)
9th June - 1 hour from Rome, stayed at an Italiano house and ate more mozzerella cheese and bread and pizza and pasta in my life.
P.S. Italians don't eat their pasta with spoons. They use fork and knife.
10th June - Kissed Rome goodbye, and forgot to bring my heart along.
11th June - London west end. Watched my first improvised comedy.
12th June - Attended interviews
13th June - Got hired
14th June - Took the night bus to Liverpool
15th June - Accompanied an excited boy to Anfield
16th June - Wasted 6 pounds riding the Tube around London playing tourist and snapping pictures
17th June - Said hi to William Shakespeare's grave and watched a Japanese adaptation of Titus (fantastic)
18th June - Said bye to William Shakespeare and watched a (boring) historic play in the Elizabethan (or is it Jacobean) setting with everything supposed to be of the exact replica of Shakespeare's theatre in the 16th century with the exception of spotlights (WTF) and seat cushions for rent at 1 pound each. Actors had to shout loud and in turn spit quite a bit of saliva. Ate at Chinatown. CHINATOWN!!!
19th June - First day of work, and liking it so far.

I made a A Photo a day keeps the doctor away folder. I don't really know how long more can I upkeep the folder since now I am starting to work and will no longer have time for interesting pictures, nor even bring my camera out really.

So here it is.

Have fun viewing it. And checking on it frequently to see if I updated it. Because if I update it, it means there is a high chance that I'm alive!

I know a lot of people are so jealous and wishing they are in my position. Honestly, as much as I really don't wish to gloat and be so haolian about this whole thing, and there are lots of cons which I don't want to say here (for example, a plate of wanton noodles cost S$18, no maid to wash my clothes, cook my meal, make my bed, no friends who calls me, nobody online when I am like now cos it's 7am in Singapore, no boy to make me happy and keep me safe), but I have to say this.

I AM FUCKING IN EUROPE HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. (or will soon have the time of my life)

Come beat that.

*snigger snigger*

from today on...

I decided to indulge in being loved.

I suspect it will be a sweet sweet thing.

Con Te Partirò

Like this is it.

I'm leaving on a jetplane, don't know when I'll be back again.

Bye everyone. I miss you all already.

Pigeons and boots

Setting: Stone pavement, huge square, lots of pigeons
Characters: A girl, and a boy

G: Ready?
B: Haha, yeah
G: Hold my hand.

We run down through the pigeons, and see them fly up and away, with the mist kissing my face as I look up to the sky, closing my eyes and absorbing this splendor, then smile, with the urge to scream yeah this is great, but with absolutely no need to say a word.

Now I just need to find the boy who will hold my hand through this.

Packing

After travelling around for a bit, I'd like to think of myself as being a travel savvy person. Afterall, insofar I have not yet face any real problem of forgetting to pack some really vital things, OR, more importantly, not bringing a bag big enough to carry my conquers, and then having to lug big plastic bag of things up the plane.

Having said that though, this is by far the hardest bag to pack. To pack a year worth of wear for 4 seasons but not bring too much because I'm not going directly to London is SO difficult. What's more, I don't even know what type of job I am going to work as, so what type of clothes to bring is another problem. And these trench coats and down jackets and knit wears are like the thickest heaviest and most space consuming things on Earth. Luckily I've discovered (and developed a compulsive obsession for) vacuum bags. Now I just want to squeeze air out of everything I see.

And, being hui and being vain, I need to look fashionable. Enough.

It's a crazy task really.

For God's sake

I seriously wonder how and why it is sooooo effortless to communicate with some people, and sometimes, it takes soooooooooooo much effort just to get your point across. And that is of course after soooooooo times of misunderstanding AND explanations that didn't go through their brains.

They are not dumb, they may have good command of the language...

But But...

WHY DON'T THEY GET IT?

And it is not like I don't have enough things to fret about.

Seriously.

13 days

It's kinda scary really

A perfect Sunday morning

I want to have a lazy Sunday morning where I will bother to wake up early, sip a cuppa lazy Sunday coffee and have a lazy Sunday morning chit chat as a change to the late night pratas. The weather has to be perfect, it cannot be too hot, no glaring sun, the right company, the right spoon to stir my coffee. Not an ice cream stick, and the cup cannot be the kopitam glass one but a white clean cup. It should be in an outdoor setting, maybe Gardens, or at least have glass windows so I can look outside to see kids trotting alongside their parents in their oversize bermudas and crocs sandals. And I can take a deep breath to breathe in the morning air, wear my Sunshine Makes me Happy tee and say Good morning Sunshine.

Like my San Francisco mornings with my muffin and caffe mocha at Cafe Breco, minus the cold and rain, plus the sunshine and breeze. The stepping out of the hostel, that big dramatic stretch that readys me for a new day.

Now is that too much to ask for? Or I guess it's too ambitious.

I did a clean up on my MSN messenger. People I don't care about or don't remember are deleted. I feel squeeky clean.

Are you the last?

I used to own this set of Russian dolls my dad bought for me. I was probably 5 or 6. I remember unscrewing each of the dolls, revealing a smaller one of a different colored head-dress and costume, one by one till the smallest one. I had a particular preference for the smallest, it was red. Well it was most likely because it was so cute, so tiny and was of one solid colour because it was too small to be painted on. I even remember the smell of the dolls.

I wonder where they are now, I've forgotten all about them until today.

I like the show. Not as much as my latest crush V, but it's good fun to watch. One thing I really liked about the movie (other than the fact that there were parts of the show filmed in London and it wasn't gloomy AND/OR raining) was the symbolic reference of love like Russian dolls. The long line of girls (or guys for that matter) you have to know (or you can think literally '(un)screw') till you get to the last. And you just keep wondering is this the last? Then oops sorry here's another. Life is just like a pursue of getting to the last doll, that day where you can finally choose that one person out of the 4 billion others you want to spend the rest of your life with.

It's a silly romantic story yes, and the ending is a lil' too postcard pretty. But heck, we all love cliches don't we.

Maybe this sort of explains why I love the smallest doll most.

There was one part of the movie that was so painfully deja vu though. Like right on, you just got it! Yeah! Me too! I knew, and you went, so good bye.


By the way, I am so disappointed with the new Cathay. The Cathay they call it. I was still hoping it would retain a little bit of the old charms, but no, guess what, it is just a freaking Shopping Mall with a cineplex inside. I miss the Orange Julius outside. Now there is Cheers, and Ya Kun, and I'm almost sure that Giodano and Bossini and Hang Ten will be there too. How absolutely clinically identical like every other cinemas we have, from Tampines Mall to Jurong Point.

Thanks for the great company. I love the Ramen most though :P

My latest obsession

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Yeah yeah, V, come sweep me off my feet. NOW. I just changed my name to Evey.

My mum asked me, you don't have a lot of friends hor?

I think, I have enough. How many do I really need?

I will have more hi bye wham bam slam friends after I go around the world, but true friends here don't need a lot one lah.

I just wish that I will not start to lose the ability to communicate with them anymore. You know it when the moment arrives and things you said before that the other party understood right away (and trust me, it doesn't have to be some very chim thing that requires a lot of telepathic skills) but no longer can and gives you ???'s and ....'s

You know it's over. Or to me it is. When you have nothing to say to each other or find yourself rolling your eye in your heart or giving the ??? look when they reply.

Pray let that not happen to people who I not want it to happen.

Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove, Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks.
John Donne

carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero

" seize the day"

I should live my life by the day and stop thinking about tommorrow.

But life doesn't really work like that, I think.

It's a very nice feeling....

to know that you will be missed in the times of your absence. I mean it's cool when people say go for it man! But it's also nice for people to say don't go leh, because they miss you.

I feel sweetly, tenderly, warmly loved.

Thank you. ;)



P.S. Yes it is 5.30am. I am still somehow jetlagged and every little caffeine triggers too much whatevers and cause me to not sleep.

Me. The S&S (Sleep and Snore) queen.

Brilliant.

Mark Twain revisited

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

P.S. I will probably be updating a record number of times since I have absolutely nothing to do and refused to look for a job.

And yes, I'm kinda set on leaving. I don't know where, don't know when and don't know how yet. I only know if I don't, I will resent myself and regret it.

No I don't think it's an after-effect of the trip. Well it is, but it is not a short term infatuation as you put it.

I really think if not now, it's never already. I wouldn't be able to put everything down and leave by then when I have committments. Now my only committment is my handphone bill and my maxonline bills. Which can be resolved rather simply. But not when I have a boyfriend who wants to marry me in a years time, or a great career with a great pay that is in line with the Singaporean dream of condos and cars and ballet and hanyupingying classes.

So, I think I'd leave. If only I have more money and more guts.

Inability to, or refusal of?

I have to move on. I honestly don't even know if it is my refusal of, or is it really the inability to un-jetlag myself.

I cannot continue to live in 17 hours before yah? And it doesn't help that no one is free to bum with me. Everyone's so busy. I'm just cluelessly alone.

My mind
so far away

No I'm still not sleeping

JZ just sent me a very tempting invitation. Stay with him in Milan till I figure out what I want to do. And of course, the world cup in Germany is really nearby. And that is in June. And of course, Rome is even nearer.

You know, I can see myself in the Gucci boutique of glorious Milan already. So what if being a salesperson isn't glamorous? I'm in Milan leh.

I donch know I donch know I donch know. What do you think?

Jetlagged.

It's 7am. And it's 2pm yesterday at SF. I'm still living in GMT -8. Not really though, if so I should have slept in the early afternoons.

But I cannot sleep.

I did everything. I even play game until I sian. You don't get that very frequent though. So here I am with the pictures.


I left my heart in San Francisco


What hotel? Inter-continental? So what?
(I saw a girl in UC Berkeley wearing the same jacket as me. How freakish)


I want candy. Yum yum


My bed. Nope. No Inter-continental bed. :(


The gay place! Hurrah to the rainbow flag (and for being ignored, served bad coffee and slow service. So much for being an exotic Asian female)


What is SF without the cable cars yah?


Someone from every continent! Almost lah. Singapore (Asia), Canada (North America), Australia (Australia), Austria (Europe). We just need someone from South America and erm Africa. hehehe


Orpheum Theatre. Puts Esplanade and our Kallang pui Theatre to shame. I watched Cats there. :D


Bear and me at Muir Woods. Can you tell I don't like him?


Even the Forever21 store is so pretty


Italiano cafe for breakie


So the Simpsons right? Their school buses are so cute!


Anyone recognise this? It's Mrs D-something's house. Think people think.


Pretty sky


Victoria's Secret dressing room. How much prettier can it get?

Say it. Click comment and say,

wah Hui.. your pictures are damn nice.

*sniggers*